Christmas Morning

I woke up this morning to the usual noise of hungry dogs who are ready for breakfast. Kim goes through to the kitchen first and begins filling bowls I prepared the night before with supplements to get them strong or to keep them that way. It saves her time and once she feeds each dog, she has to immediately take them out one at a time to give them a walk. We have a great ritual that works well for us and the dogs. While she does that, I get the kettle on to make hot tea and will check if more food for dogs needs making if we are low, and get it on ready for later. Or I get laundry on as there is always laundry to do, not just ours, but dog beds and towels from baths. I do that because it is something I can manage with a washing machine and dryer on hand.

We all know that life keeps going regardless of all we have been through or are going through at present. Some women I know just had surgery and are resting much of the time in bed. Family around them often gets on with the Christmas traditions without them and women feel guilty because they can’t make their usual special foods. I know that this often causes sadness or anger, but I want them to know that in due time, things will improve even if slowly. They will one day be able to join in, laugh and share in the love and joy that these traditions bring.

This morning I received a long email from a woman I have known a very long time. She was bed ridden before Dr. Raz removed her mesh. You may not know of her story but her wonderful husband drove her over several States to get her to California, while she laid in the back of the vehicle because she was unable to fly.

Since that time her health improved, but the damage from so many years still plagued her. Many falls later she had to have knee surgery and once again could not get around the house. It was a dark time for her, wondering if life would ever improve, even a little. She has always been grateful for a small gain, because before she had nothing to look forward to. As I read her email and looked at the photo of her granddaughter who has spent so much time with her sick grandmother, she made me smile. She had bought a doll on the Internet for her and she was so proud because the doll looked so much like her. Her granddaughter was holding the doll and smiling at her pleasure.

We don’t get to choose how much better we get after long term mesh complications. Sometimes we improve so very slowly but it does happen. We look at life vastly different than we used to and never take those small things for granted. This is part of what she told me and she always allows me to share with you if I feel it could help another woman.

“DEAR LINDA, This is ——- My oldest Granddaughter & No.1 Cheerleader and a doll she saw on Ebay we BOTH thought looks SO like her, so much I gave it to her for Christmas, we had last night.
Kids came over-did Christmas last night with us. MUCH better than last year! When I couldn’t walk one step w/o crutches-way before tests were found and showed what to do in April Surgery. So Much better! PTL!” This blog was the last update I did on this friend and it may help you to read it

Yes the damage done over fifteen years was so bad she had little hope for any kind of recovery. But after removal she was able to get back up out of bed and walk after the surgery, something she had not been able to do for a very long time. No there was no getting her old life back, but she was grateful for the small things she could once again do, instead of living life in her bed.

I thought about her a lot and decided to share one of my stories with her, then thought perhaps I should share it with all injured women. Maybe, just maybe it will help even one, who is feeling forlorn this holiday. Here it is.

The One Eyed Snowman.


Have you heard of ‘Frosty’?

A ‘Snowman’ ageless tale

Then here is one that’s lesser known

It’s sure to make you wail


It starts one winter evening

Continued through the night

It snowed so much it covered all

A blanket! Winter white



Some children woke to see it

They screamed with joy and glee

They dressed for warmth and rushed outside

It was the place to be



They started throwing snowballs

It really was quite fun

They said. “We’ll build a snowman”

“Before this day is done”



They rolled a ball of fluffy snow

And pressed the ball to ice

They added more until it grew

The body looked quite nice



A smaller ball was rolled around

It now became his head

They placed it on his body

They called him ‘Snowman Ned’



“He needs some arms, and where’s his hat?”

A boy called out to all

They found some twigs and gave him arms

Then heard their father call



“Hurry up, it’s time for tea”

They answered. “Yes we know”

“We need a hat and scarf for him”

“Before it starts to snow”



They went inside and found some things

A broom and carrot too

“He needs some eyes and mouth to smile”

“Perhaps some rocks will do”



They went outside to finish him

They really felt quite proud

“Come in kids, it’s cold out there”

Their father yelled quite loud



They hurried now to finish

Was time to have their tea

Their snowman Ned was smiling

How wonderful was he!



They went inside for supper

A bath and time for bed

They watched him from their window

Some snow fell on his head



A blizzard came from darkened skies

The wind howled loud and blew

The snowman felt it blow all night

Was nothing he could do!



He looked across the garden

But something wasn’t right

He strained to see but couldn’t

He knew he could last night



When daylight came, he felt relief

The children rushed outside

But when they saw their snowman

Their mouths flew open wide!



He really looked quite funny

One eye had blown away

The children laughed and jeered at him

And then they left to play



Now Snowman Ned felt very sad

No longer proud was he

A tear fell from his only eye

A bird sat in a tree



“What is wrong?” He chirped at him

“A snowman shouldn’t cry”

“I cannot see.” The snowman said

“I think I want to die!”



“Nonsense.” Said the little bird

“Stop crying, if you please”

“Enjoy the time you are alive”

“Before it doesn’t freeze”



“I really feel so silly”

“I only have one eye”

The bird seemed quite impatient

He flew off to the sky



The snowman now felt quite alone

He wallowed in his pain

He heard a noise from in the tree

The bird flew back again



He cried out “Stop that sniveling”

The snowman wiped his eye

“I’ve brought some friends to meet you”

“They said they’d all come by”



The snowman now was staring

A dog with just one ear

A rabbit with a crooked leg

A tailless cat stood near



“Hello.” They said in unison

“A pleasure.” Said the Cat

The ear less dog now wagged his tail

“I like your tall, black hat”



The snowman looked quite puzzled

This was the strangest sight

The Rabbit asked. “Why do you cry?”

“I hope you’ll be alright”



“I’m really sad.” The Snowman said

“I only have one eye”

“What’s wrong with that?” The Rabbit asked

“It shouldn’t make you cry”



“You still can see around you”

The Dog said. “I can hear”

“Who cares what others think of me”

“I’m glad I have one ear”



The tailless Cat now laughed out loud

“A trap cut off my tail”

“But I can run and live my life”

“No time to sit and wail”



The Rabbit said. “And l can walk”

“Perhaps I look a sight”

“I’m slower now, and take my time”

“I still feel quite all right”



The Snowman stopping his crying

He smiled and raised his head

“I see your point, I’m lucky”

“The sun could shine instead”



“A snowman doesn’t have much time”

“Perhaps it’s just a day”

“I should be thankful for the snow”

He brushed a tear away



“That’s great.” They said together

“Let’s sing a Christmas song”

The bird now led them with a tune

His voice was loud and strong



The snowman felt so happy

And suddenly he knew

It didn’t matter how he looked

The friends he had were true!



The moral of this story

That life can slip away

Don’t waste the time you have on earth

Be Thankful for each day



Copyright 2015
Linda Kilpatrick

I am not trying to preach to you that you should just get back up and get going again. I know there are stages to mesh complications especially for those who are seriously injured. But there is hope if you make a plan and act on it in the New Year, IF your body is going downhill fast. Go to surgeons who can remove the mesh and hopefully in due time, improve your own life. No you won’t be the person you once were but maybe a new and improve person because of all you’ve gone through. That is the message of this blog.

Merry Christmas to all who share this holiday and very warm wishes to those who have their own traditions.


  1. Traci Rizzo

    Merry Christmas to you and Kim !! It’s been a delight as you deliver much light since I’ve known you this year. I’m so very happy for your friend and blessed to read such a story this Christmas morn I hope it finds yall well and full of cheer !! Your love and care you selflessly give is a gift all year long. I wish yall both a great 2016 !!

    1. Linda (Post author)

      Thank you Traci and I hope 2016 brings you some relief.

  2. Angie Hannon

    What a wonderful story. Thank you

    1. Linda (Post author)

      Thank you Angie for reading it. Keep faith and I hope this next year will see you through a good healing time.

  3. RR

    Thanks Linda for making Christmas Day Special! We did family Christmas-Christmas Eve-Eve! So today for other various reasons it was NOT good until you blessed me SO much. Thanks for sharing what you just did about me with others.

    Last year was for sure an all time low. I lost the ability to stand or walk on my right leg Oct. 2015 But because I have an Interstem I can NOT take an MRI. So it took 6months and many types tests to finally find an old test to show what the Damage was on my right leg. SAME leg Dr.Raz told me mesh had just got to.

    I had to use a cane just before my Mesh Removal Oct.2012. After removal I didnt have to use a cane. But the falls I had before my mesh removal and falls after-caused so much damage in addition to what the mesh did, That by the time they found a test that showed the problems I had- it was April 2015 before I had knee surgery. My leg suddenly went out one day Oct.2015. I was with my granddaughter then and suddenly I could not stand or put any weight on it. I had to have assistance and use crutches that day on until after surgery and much physical therapy. So by the time I had Knee surgery April 2015 a big amount of ligaments & cartlidge had to be removed because they were too shredded to fix.

    So MORE permanent Nerve Damage again linked to what a Mesh Bladder/Sling I had 12years before removal DID. The surgery on my leg was 3years AFTER my Mesh/Sling removal.
    I got copies of that surgery to add to my Tub of medical records. My law firm already had copies of all other medical records for my lawsuit Ive had for yrs now along with Many More people.

    I ASKED my firm last yr after leg surgery if they wanted copies? I was told “Nope, Dont need it! Too late! etc. etc. But just recently my firm DID ask for them-of course-RIGHT now! Luckily I had obtained them. So I ask and remind all other Mesh Victims to try to ALWAYS ask for ALL YOUR records of all medical treatments and surgeries YOU have even after Mesh Removal or before of course. Sooner you do so easier it is. Dont let any assistant or Medical Employee make you believe it isnt possible or too much a hassle! It is YOUR body and treatments and surgeries on YOUR body. You have a right to all information! And if like me I assure you-you will find much more info and facts than Doctors or Staff will EVER tell you!

    Because as many of us are sadly finding out more and more is always being found that WAS caused and IS caused by Mesh! If not for Mesh these problems would never have happened to me many times. With mine I just started having to use a cane a few months before my mesh removal. I thought it was from something else? But Dr. Raz told me the Mesh-Adhesions or growths had just got to my right leg. I know much more damage would have happened if I had not had removal then. It shows you the incredible stealth & insidious ways Mesh can and does affect Victims-involving so many different ways and parts of our bodies. After 12years MESH was by NO means DONE damaging my health and body and sadly still is- thought not at same rate as It was.

    My knee Dr. said on a scale of 1-4 with 4 being the worst-my right leg and knee is a 3. It will ALWAYS be weaker and ALWAYS cause even more pain. Something I thought not possible.

    I wear a pain patch now just for my right leg in addition to an Interstem and prescribed pain pills I have had for years. Each day I wake up I still am surprised at having a new pain! each day when I put my right leg on the floor. I AM thankful my knee Dr. Did Not think I was “loco” suggesting the Mesh started the problem. Especially after he read Dr.Raz’s thorough, professional and TRUTHFUL reports. He told me my other leg that mesh did not get to actually had much more arthitus and age related wear. But the leg mesh got to was THE problem. Not the other one! I remember back when I had scans at UCLA and Dr.Raz showed me how the mesh just got to my right leg. You could see on the scan where the mesh was in and close to leg nerves verses the other leg that showed the mesh not near my legs nerves.

    SO I am SO thankful this Christmas I didnt have to use crutches and get help from others to go to our living room and join my family for Christmas. The 6months I was virtually BED BOUND was a new low. I thought I would never end. Plus I got weaker and weaker all the time. Because they couldn’t find a test I could take to show a real problem they knew I had.

    I found out I will likely need a complete knee replacement in a few years. So no more walking on our rural roads with my Granddaughter who remembers many walks we took before my mesh surgeries with Dr.Raz. I simply do NOT have another Fall In Me. I fell before & after mesh removal a few times when I suddenly found each time I could put NO weight on my right leg. Last Oct.that pain and weakness never left. So I try to walk on my treadmill now.

    May all have a Blessed and Peaceful New Years and one with real progress for all victims Health and Legal cases. GOD BLESS! RR

    1. Linda (Post author)

      You make many valid points RR and glad you did an update. This is terribly hard and the best defense is never to allow mesh in your body.


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *