If a couple of years ago anyone would have told me I should be far less trusting and look at everyone as if they want to make money from my situation, I would never have believed them. But… these past months have certainly changed how I now look at people I met in the past, who I thought were one thing, as people who I now know were out to both deceive and use me. I can tell you this whole business has been quite sad for me to come to terms with, but alas I have no choice.
Recently, finding out our little dog was at the end of his life has thrown me I must admit. The past three months was about watching the clock, giving him medications and cooking his food, in an effort to save his life. You do not look at the end of any human or an animal’s life as hopeless. Instead you do all you can to try to make things better or make them more comfortable. You do it because you love them. So when it ends you are at even more of a loss and have to find a way to cope. Getting up and seeing an empty bed where Beaux slept for nine years was very sad for me as I was always first up and fed him. My morning ritual was thrown after he died as no more making breakfast for Beaux felt like an empty space in my daily ritual. Somehow once someone or something has gone from your life, you deal with things and find a way to move forward. And that is where my daughter and I are at right now.
Many women have asked me what happened between me and Aaron Horton. I have not taken the time to explain anything as it took so much energy I needed for taking care of Beaux and as always there are new women who need help and I still continue to do what I can to help women deal with a terrible medical issue. But now it is time to tell my story about meeting this woman. The reason being the time is now, is because Aaron seems to be under the opinion that I gave her permission to use my story on her site. I can assure her and anyone reading this that I did NOT!
It was little more than one year ago that I was introduced to Aaron by another woman I have had issues with. Teresa Ray Jones. Now of course I realize how taken in I was by all of them, including Jane Akre. It is not surprising I did not know that they were all connected as not one of them told me the truth. Through Facebook, Teresa Jones told me that Aaron was sad because her mother was mesh injured and she did not know what to do for her. My heart went out to this young woman and I did what I was asked. I friended her. She told me a very sad tale about her mother living on pain medications and frankly the amount her mother was on, alarmed not just me but a nurse practitioner I know. So we tried to help.
Aaron lives in Dallas and I live outside Houston and the two Cities are far apart in driving distance. When I was introduced to Aaron, it was soon after I had just gone through my last surgery early July last year and I was not able to do much so I was happy to talk to Aaron and try to reassure her and ease her stress concerning her mother. She asked if she could come and visit my daughter and me and of course I agreed thinking it would be good for her to talk about it and realize once her mother’s mesh was removed, life will be better. Life does get better after removal, but only time will tell if any long term damage is permanent and we all have to be patient while healing. At that time I had spent over three years speaking to other women and I knew so many complications and was happy to help in any way.
When Aaron came here the first time she spent an afternoon with us and I really liked her as she is very personable. I let her tell me all her mother had gone through and then she began telling me she wanted to be Aaron Brockabitch, which I thought was a very strange thing for a daughter of an injured mother to say. She also said she wanted to help women who were injured by mesh and I advised her to first help her mother and then if she wanted to do something with her life, work with an agency such as CASSA, who try to change things for children. I explained that at one time I had worked as a volunteer teaching art and sewing to children who had problems in their home lives and it was very rewarding. I also told her that dealing with mesh injured women can be very depressing and as young as she is, it would be very hard while also dealing with her mother’s issues. But Aaron insisted it was what she wanted to do with her life.
I can tell you that NOT ONCE did she tell me she had already set up an organization called the Mesh Warrior. Neither did she tell me that she had already set Jane Akre up as one of her directors on this site. All she said about Jane was, that she had found her site and had told her about her mother. I did NOT know that the two were already in cahoots with each other and only found out recently that Jane was a director when my daughter paid to find out who was on Aaron’s board. Why was all this kept from me?
Well it certainly doesn’t look good for their honesty.
While Aaron was in my home, I took her through to my bedroom to show her the fairy things I had been making to try to learn how to deal with the vestibule issue I have from an antibiotic drug that I took in abundance for an infection, which causes constant dizziness. I love designing and I was having a heck of a time learning how to deal with the fact that my eyes and brain do not work the same way together that they are supposed to. So I decided I was not going to get depressed about it, but instead I was going to teach myself how to cope with it. Hence I began using my art to make fairy buildings. It made me learn how to work my eyes and brain in a way I could cope and made me feel happy. Aaron told me she too loved fairies and wanted to learn how to make a fairy house. She was enthralled with the delicate buildings and took photographs which I approved thinking it was for a memorable day. She literally gushed over them and I felt compelled to teach her how to build one at no charge and invited her to my home again whenever she had time and I would show her.
Since that time I have realized this was all a set up to write an update story about me, decided upon by Jane Akre. But I was TOTALLY unaware.
I now also now know Aaron Horton looks around to see what she can identify herself with anyone mesh injured, so that she can try to entrap them by feigning friendship to get what she wants. A story! So be aware and DO NOT let this woman get close to you or invite her into your home, or like it or not she will use her visit to get what she wants and she will post it without your permission. That is what happened to me!
I should also inform women that by the time Aaron went out to UCLA with the other woman and her mother was there for consult with Dr. Raz, the article she wrote about me had set off huge warning bells of what she was up to. I actually called Jane Akre, something I rarely did and told her of my suspicions that Aaron would sit around with mesh injured women, listen to their stories and take photographs which would look like she was doing it all because of her mother’s injuries. Then she would use them to write unapproved stories. Jane informed me that she was going to send a camera out there with Aaron, but now she would not do so. She also said she would tell Aaron to wear a press badge when around other injured women and inform them first who she was and what she was about. I was still very much concerned but hoped for the best. I do not know who she met while out there and if she informed what she was up to, before she began speaking to them but I tried hard to make sure nothing was written without permission from the women.
Later I sent Jane an email and told her I was not happy about Aaron because I had come to realize she was self-serving. The reply from Jane. “I am self-serving too”. No truer words have been written.
Although I have had jokes told about the fact that I collect fairies by other nasty women, I will tell you the real reason why I do. Poke fun at it they may but I can assure you I do NOT live in the world of fairies nor worship them as has been suggested by Teresa Jones. At the bottom of this blog I will give you the link to other blogs I have written about these people. Believe me I would much rather live in a world of fantasy than the true definition of what these people are about which I find are of many hidden agendas based on greed. Not very nice people at all I am afraid.
So here is the real reason why I’ve collected fairies for several years. Many years ago my husband began having difficulties with his thinking and it was devastating. He was a brilliant man who began living in a world where he could not remember things he always knew. He could not fix things he always had because, as I found out only three months before he died, he had dementia. I had been told it was because of what he had gone through with prostate cancer treatment, not the real reason. It went on for ten years before he died and many things that happened, only my close family in England knew about. So my sisters began sending me fairies as gifts, which had been a symbol of our childhood in England. It was the days before cartoons and Super Heroes and it was part of English myth. As children we would hunt for fairies in gardens and it was fun and playful, just like watching cartoons for children in this day and time.
So when little resin fairies showed up as gifts, they made me feel good. I had to move out of the bedroom I had shared with my husband over thirty years at that time, as he had strange sleeping times and would wander around the house and put on lights everywhere at all hours of the night. I cannot tell you how awful it is to live with someone who cannot grasp life as it always was, but I do know he became paranoid and afraid. Now I am going to share with you one of the horrors of what I had to deal with.
I always loved my husband because he was the most wonderful husband and father to our family. From the day we met, he was the ONLY man in my life and remained the only one until he died. In fact there has never been another to take his place, even though there was an offer before mesh happened to me. An offer I was not inclined to accept. I am one of those people who believe that marriage is sacred, so when my husband first decided I had someone else in my life, I did everything to assure him there wasn’t. I rarely went to the grocery store alone, thinking he would get over his fears if I put the time in to make him feel secure in our marriage. You see he was seventeen and a half years older than I and I thought it was due to his age and feeling afraid he would lose me. When he died we had thirty-five years together. He was my rock. He was a very caring, loving man and yet was strong and faithful. Most of my women friends at that time were envious of our marriage and I was oblivious to the idea that anything could change it. However I did not understand dementia and I had to learn the hard way. By experience.
My husband had always been a very gentle loving man but one thing happened to make me fear him. Every morning I went into what was then still our bedroom to make up the bed. As I did this mundane task my bare toes hit something. I reached down and found a shotgun and bullets on his side of the bed. I froze with horror. When I gathered my thoughts I took it through to the living room and asked him why it was there. He looked quite sheepish and told me that during the night he had taken the gun and wandered around to find me with the man I had taken up with. There was no man of course, but I was shocked and horrified that he had a loaded gun, walking around the house to find me and this unknown man. I was shaking with the realization that he was losing realitity.
We live in Texas and most people have guns and love to hunt. My husband never went hunting even though his brother loved it. My husband could never kill any animal especially one that was not attacking him. He had bought the gun when we lived up in the Hill Country of Texas several years before. We and our neighbors were plagued with families of skunks moving in around our homes. At night they would let off the most terrible smell that did not diminish for weeks. So he and the neighbors had to do something. Pat, my husband, bought the gun then and he managed to clear our skunk problem, although did not enjoy killing them. It was something he didn’t have much choice in and did what he thought necessary. From that day on, that gun never came out and never killed anything else. Then it moved to Houston with us and was completely buried in the closet for safety and the bullets were in a separate place. So for me to know he got them out and was searching the house for me and an unknown man changed everything in my life. I began to fear the man who I loved and trusted.
I tried everything to get him to go with me to talk to someone but he wouldn’t. My daughter knew and was just as horrified as I was. She lived next door to us at that time and one day she took the gun and bullets and found a place to get rid of them. I moved out of the bedroom and moved into her old room and the fairies became a symbol of hope and healing. My husband lived four years after that time and I will not share any more of all we went through, but I want you to know it was the most difficult thing I ever had to do in my marriage. So sometimes something as lovely as fairies mean much more than any other person could ever know. My daughter began giving them to me as gifts for birthdays etc. They took me from a world of desolation and fear and gave me something that made me feel good. They also took me through the long grieving process after he died. So NO I do not live in fairyland nor worship fairies, but I now send little fairy gifts and cards to mesh injured women as a symbol of hope and to give them something feminine to think about now that their bodies have been destroyed.
Collecting fairies is no different than collecting angels as many people around the world do for many reasons. I do not take drugs, smoke or drink, nor do I seek any substance to take away the pain I deal with through my life. Collecting and making fairy art is my way of dealing with loss as is collecting angels by others who find a way to deal with their loss. I am an artist and designer and love the beauty of the IDEA of fairies. I write stories in a poetic way and it releases many days of pain and sadness that I still deal with. Does that make me crazy? Actually I think it helps me stay sane and keeps me from doing things that can hurt my body and the people I love. So as far as I am concerned, people who want to demean me for it, need to find a way to get past their own problems and perhaps collecting something that makes them feel good would be far better than the drugs they put into their bodies.
When Aaron saw my fairy collection and the fairy things I make she told me how much she loved fairies and would love to make a fairy house. I did what I always do. I spent time with her even though sitting for many hours was difficult after two surgeries close together. But I can say Aaron was not interested in what I had gone through, nor what mesh in my body had done to me. She is like most people. She concentrates on how she feels and wants sympathy for her, not her mother.
There were quite a lot of phone calls to me from Aaron but most were as she was driving. I noted that she was always on the road running away from her own life. I found it strange because she has a husband and says she has a good marriage. Even through the bad times at the end of his life, I spent many hours with my husband. When he lost his voice because of mini strokes, I sat talking to him about anything and everything and his eyes would light up just to hear my voice. So I could not understand a happily married women who spent much of her time gone from her own home. I did not dig and ask her because only she knows why, but it was very strange to me.
The last time I saw Aaron was even stranger as at that time, in less than forty-eight hours she was flying out to UCLA with another mesh injured woman and her mother was also going to be out there a few days later. So a sudden phone call asking me could she come and spend the night, seemed very odd to me. However I told her we did not have another bedroom finished or she could. She said she would sleep on the couch as she often went to other people’s homes and slept on couches. This was very odd to me as beds are so much more comfortable that other people’s couches. I asked her if she had time as I knew she was going out to LA. She said no problem and I agreed to let her come. Actually I felt imposed upon and awkward about it, but what could I say? She said she would be here in the late afternoon.
Hours went by and I was worried about this young woman travelling roads across Texas at night so I called her and she said she had had things to do but was on her way. It was after nine at night when she arrived. We sat talking to her for a couple of hours and then my daughter and I went to bed. When I got up in the morning she was already up. We did not spend a lot of time with her before she had to get back on the road again to go and pick up this other woman and take her back to Dallas and spend the night before flying the next day. The whole thing was bazaar to my daughter and I and my daughter have written an accurate account of that time and I will give you the link at the bottom of this blog.
Aaron’s behavior reminded both my daughter and I of someone my daughter was involved with in a relationship for a long time. He too spent a lot of time jumping in a car and taking off to spend nights on other people’s couches. Since that time we have both realized substance abuse was at the bottom of it. I do not know why Aaron does it and cannot assume anything. I do think her personal issues with her mother is at the bottom of her strange behavior and truly she needs to get it resolved.
Although Aaron writes about grief and loss of her mother, her mom is still alive and had mesh removed some time back by Dr. Raz. I am sure she is still dealing with the aftermath of mesh damage, but life would be better than it was. The strangest thing to me is that Aaron writes as if her mother is dead. I truly wish she would find help with dealing with her own personal issues first and then get mediation to resolve the issues between her and her mother. I don’t think what she is doing now will make her mother proud of her, nor her step-father accepting that she wants a relationship with her mother. Relationships are about trust and love. She told me herself her step-father does not trust her to be alone with her mother. Why? Well only these people know.
I have often spoken to so many mesh injured women who are estranged from their children. They are very sad and lonely because of it. What I hear from these women is that their children do not realize the depth of loss and pain associated with mesh injuries and they are expected to rebound after removal surgery. The one thing that seems to be missing from these children is compassion. I know Aaron did not have any compassion for me when she came here. She constantly thinks about her own situation and seeks sympathy from others. I don’t understand any of this. She owns three homes and yet she is constantly gone from all of them. She has a loving husband (her words) and yet she runs away to spend time with other people she doesn’t know. She has a living mother and yet she seeks mesh injured women as replacements. She seems very lost and at almost forty years of age, she needs to spend time discovering how to live her own life and gain the vast knowledge she will have to begin writing about things of more substance instead of ski boots and Robin Williams.
I can tell you this. I had a difficult upbringing as my mother had many problems, but when she died I was not estranged from her and I have no regrets because I worked at dealing with everything from my childhood as I became an adult. We cannot run away from our parents when we have problems. Our parents are part of who we are and we cannot escape that reality. To deal with my own thoughts on my childhood I began writing about them in a personal diary, just for me. I began looking at things in a different way and found positives, not all negatives. By the time I was finished I had spent so many tears I was ready to move forward. I also gained a new perspective about my parents and realized they did the best they could with what they had or knew. That realization freed me from my past and helped me realize life is a journey for every person on this planet.
I hate to see Aaron go down the same path as Jane Akre. She is now a front for ambulance chasing lawyers just like Jane. Has it made Jane happy doing this all her life? I don’t see her happiness anywhere. She was in my facebook friends for three years and I never knew the person she is. You don’t have to be a private person to show who you are. It comes through in your writing. Jane’s writing seems devoid of anything personal and is either bland or sensational to gain an audience of injured people.
With Aaron it’s vastly different. She is trying so hard to be a writer she is becoming a really bad one. Her writing does not make sense most of the time and for a site that is supposed to inform mesh injured women, there is nothing there to inform or help anyone. I can tell Aaron this. Listening to a tape about how to write as she drives along the highway won’t help her. I was told that the only way to write is to write about what you know.
Aaron is still young and does not need to latch onto other people’s lives to find out about living. Life is all about living. Making mistakes and learning from them and sharing that knowledge with others. We all make mistakes and we all live with the consequences and writing pie in the sky stuff such as the story she wrote about me, is of no use to anyone including herself. I hope she will start working on her own issues and find a way back to her mother who was obviously an important part of her growing up years. I hope she does not seek replacements who will stroke her ego to get out of it what they want. Life is full of needy people.
The point of writing this blog today about Aaron is to inform every person that I did NOT give Aaron permission to write a story about me nor put it on her site. I am NOT part of her organization(s) nor will ever be. I want Aaron Horton to remove that story at once and take my name out of her equation to use injured people to make her living. She is exactly what Jane Akre is. She has set up a clearing house for lawyers to gain more cases to profit off people with medical device injuries. Her site(s) and any non-profit is an ambulance chasing lawyer’s front to lure unsuspecting people into the web. Any money she gets will be used to travel around and make out like she is someone special. Little if any will ever go to anyone in need. That to me is unacceptable behavior as I do what I do without any gain because these injuries have to stop. What happened to doing the right thing without making a profit? What happened to a conscience that these people do not seem to have. I do not understand any of it.
Aaron you may not like the way my daughter expresses how she feels about all this but she writes with pure honesty in her heart. We both could care less about you as a person and you nor anyone else are under threat from us. I am badly injured by mesh and my own doctor states I should not be left here alone because falling will cause me worse injuries. Therefore she has to keep doing whatever it takes to keep up a home we both love without me or anyone else helping her. Unlike you, there is no money to hire yard work done. You told us both what it cost to mow and keep up the grounds of your home in Dallas because your husband doesn’t want to do it.
If you come here to this blog and leave comments telling me to turn the other cheek and other riotous comments, I can assure you they will be deleted. This is my PERSONAL account of all that has happened to me throughout my time of injury. Never ONCE have I used my story or name to make money from my injuries, nor have I used any other women’s stories. Why should Aaron Horton be allowed to profit from my name to make money for her to roam the country and make out like she I helping women? It is not true! Any money she raises is not helping any mesh injured woman and nothing she writes helps them either. I tried to mentor her and gave her leads so that she could learn what being mesh injured is like. But… she has no interest in learning and continues trying hard to build a brand off of women’s injuries. This is my personal opinion from a year of watching her and trying to get her to help women.
I did set the records straight in a blog because the story Aaron wrote about me was such a fantasy. I also complained to Jane Akre about the story and along with another story Jane wrote about me, I demanded them to be removed off Jane’s site. It took awhile but it finally happened. You can read this past blog here
You may not like the way my daughter writes and I am sure none of the people who she exposes do either, but she writes the way she does because she too is sick of these people making money off women who are struggling and living in pain. This is her account of the time Aaron spent here. An accurate account, so I did not feel the need to repeat it all. Read this
You can also read more about how Aaron really thinks after she just left a ton of comments on facebook pages my daughter set up to expose and amuse all those who are tired of what is going on. My daughter answered them and it was back and forth until my daughter said enough was enough, she does not have time for all this and she banned her from leaving more. Life goes on at our home and work is beginning again for my daughter as the Fall fronts are cooling things down enough for her to work outside and finish this house. Read this
And this is how my daughter feels about my story on Aaron’s site. She asked her for me to remove it but of course that did not happen. Read this
UPDATE: I did add some photos on here from a photographer with a full showcase of work on the great Aaron Horton, but was asked to remove them and out of respect I did so. You can see all photos taken in this session here.