My Diary of Mesh

I have often been tempted to shut this blog down when I feel so overwhelmed, but I always think back to when I was in such a mess, I emailed Lana Keeton of The Truth in Medicine and did not receive any reply and I felt so lonely and desperate. I struggled through every night not knowing if I would survive something that was supposed to be a small unobtrusive surgery. Yesterday when I read a new comment that just came in I was reminded once again why I do this. One more very young woman who does not stand a chance unless someone pays attention to her, so this morning I sent her an email to let her know she is not alone. This was the comment.

“im 30 yrs old now, i had a bladder and uterine prolapes, almost comletely out of my body about 5 yrs ago. total hysterectomy was done. a few yrs ago i saw the lawsuit commercials start up, but i was fine then. now im not, and the more i read the more all my symptoms seem to match 1 colprit. on dec 24th 2013 i was diagnosed with a hernia in the l groin area, because of no insurance it still hasnt been repaired, a few mos ago i started getting severe pain in my right leg, and my ankle down foor has no feeling. a few weeks ago i noticed that my well, um….i seem to be leaking all the time, but it has a very acidy smell and some times it seems more like feces in my vagina(so gross, and very emberrising) apone looking those symptoms up it points to a fistula. then last week sex started to hurt and i was bleeding for a few days, along with a fecal matter smell. ive aske the doctor in the past if i had a mesh sling and he wouldnt return my calls, i have no insurance and fear that mesh had to be used, and that it is just now recking havoc and quickly. i dont know what to do. i cant stand very long, sometimes cant stand at all. im in pain all the time. i know the doctor described how he was going to do the surgery, but they had me on so many meds i dont remember much, also i read that if mesh was effective my bladder would have worked right away, it took several days, also my bladder is collapsing again and maybe the vaginal wall itself, theres a noticible bulge that if i press on a few times, like im “pumping” it if im unable to pee thats what will make me be able to release urine. please any advice or someone to talk to.”

I left a reply on that blog with links of how she can get her records and have done what I can for the time being. Where she lives, what type of surgery or mesh she has, I have no clue and will she answer the email I do not know but I tried to help and that is all I can do right now.

For all the hype out there, mesh is not going anywhere any time soon and even if it does there is such a giant mess to clean up without any more new cases. But new cases come in on this blog every day all depending on words used in Google and which blog the woman winds up on. I am grateful to women like this one for posting their terrible dilemmas because without their words, other women would not understand they are not alone. There has been so many meetings with our government and other governments in the world and yet none of it is working. This is why I have to keep writing and we the mesh injured women of the world must keep spreading the dangers of mesh, one woman at a time. This young woman made me think of how it was for me early in 2010 and I pulled up my email diary where I sent messages to my family after I had had the first surgery. The second followed within weeks because of all the infections and I could not pee at all after the mesh was put into my body. My mesh surgery was March 9th 2010 and you can read some of my fears in these emails to my family to tell them what was going on.

Night of May 6th2010

Today was not a good day and I definitely have to have another surgery.  So now what.   To start with my doctor told me there was an old antibiotic that should help but it was very expensive, $100-$150 for a week.  Kim was there with me and told my doctor to give me the prescription because I HAD to try something different.  We stopped to pick it up but they didn’t have it until Sat morn.  Yes, $100.  My doctor tried to do a computerized test (I now know it was a urodynamic test but did not understand any of it back then) to make sure it was the sling causing the problems but it was a waste of time because my bladder doesn’t want to try to work with such a bad bladder infection. When they put the catheter back in today I cried out with pain and it was torture.  I was crying so hard and making awful noises from the pain, that it scared Kim.  The doc thought my bladder was going into spasms, but I honestly believe it’s all the inflammation from infections and the constant use of the catheter.  It was like someone was pushing big needles in me when they tried to get it back in.  It was Hell!  I am having back pain and I think the infection has gone to my kidneys.  It won’t matter what drug they give me, the infection won’t stay away unless this is fixed.  Now I need to rest.  Love Linda

Morning May 7th 2010

Good news at last. This morning I woke up feeling better than last night but soon my back ached again and I got more worried when I saw my own tissue in my catheter bag. I called doc office to report it and finally talked to a nurse who told me what to watch for. I had been working on trying to get the new drug for infection earlier than tomorrow, but no go as no one has it in stock. I am on the last day of other drugs so doc said so long as I am taking something. The new pills for $100, guess what? There’s only seven pills, one a day. That will make them hard to swallow, but if it works then it will be worth every penny as I need to get better. The main point now is to get this surgery done for my kidneys health, and the sooner the better. This surgery won’t be as bad as the first one (I hope!) and it’s scheduled for noon Monday. Hopefully I will be back to normal before long. Love Linda

Life continues on

Little did I know back then that I would never be well or normal again? I did not know things could and would get far worse and I would have to deal with many health issues for the rest of my life. I also did not know right then that I would never have enough money to fix all that would go wrong with me because of mesh.

I hope if you are a woman who just found this blog and are considering any surgery for pelvic problems, you will not believe the rhetoric given by so many doctors about mesh, and act like there is nothing wrong with it. The truth is mesh will change your life forever and in a terrible way. I don’t want to read more comments like the one above which is why I am writing this blog today. Seek a doctor who can fix you without using mesh and to help you find one there is a doctor’s link at the top of this blog. Don’t let mesh steal your life and take everything away from you. If I save one new woman, writing this blog today will be worth my time. Please continue reading through this blog if you don’t believe me.

One more thing before I end this blog. If you have seen the ads on TV and think to yourself “I’ll get compensated if this happens to me” think again. Read and learn more.

Learn more about what lawyers think about women’s bodies

And when you suffer and can’t work and need to get the mesh removed, they will love to loan you money and take the shirt off your back

If you are reading this blog and are mesh injured and you are being harassed over the phone by those who want to make money from your injured body, then please read this


  1. teresa hughes

    Thank you Linda for sharing your diary of events.

    There are many women out there who I am sure will relate to what you have said and been through. Other women will not have a clue what is happening to them

    This should never have happened. We should be a whole woman as we where before.
    Not ravished with mesh injuries. I gave public speaking in Liverpool a while ago to many mesh injured women there were 500 women in Liverpool Women’s Hospital butchered at the hands of one surgeon. The hospital accepted liability so it was swept under the carpet. I found that they were so consumed with pain and that also the litigation was taking away the fact that they will never realise how injured they really are and what help they will need in the future.

    1. lavalinda

      Teresa it is so sad that this goes on all the time and no matter what you and I do we cannot seem to stop it. I wish women would cry out even anonymously and tell the world what was done to them. I don’t think any of us will EVER get enough funding to live our days with less pain. It makes me very sad and very angry. I hope if any woman goes through this she will put in a complaint with the NHS. Here is the link

  2. Ruth Collins

    Its me again. I just had a telescopotic test done and finally found out that my mesh screen is eroding in my urithatube.The specialist said I have to have surgery,so she going to go through telescoptic way she did the test try to get the eroded mesh out if not I will hve to be cut open and have it all taken out.I’m hoping and praying that she can fixed the problem without major surgery.What would you do? Do you think it can be done?

    1. lavalinda

      Ruth I do not believe she can remove all the mesh and the anchors this way. Soon I will be posting a blog showing more about my own removal. I too had erosion in my urethra and it had caused major damage. You do not need more damage someone else has to repair. I would ask a lot more questions. I was NOT cut open to remove mine so don’t allow this. Keep watching for my new blog.


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