Caught up in Drama

This morning I woke up to a very sick dog and my daughter and I rushed him once again to our vet. We know he does not have long on this earth but yesterday we were so worried about him and hate to put him through so much stress. We now have more medications and hope to keep him comfortable and care for him in the way loving dog owners do, for at least awhile longer. We just cannot imagine life without our little dog Beaux.

I had not had time to look at my emails today until just after we got home from the vet and I was SHOCKED! A statement was made in an email from the husband of Estelle to me and other people were included that I know including Dr. Raz and Dr. Kim. This is not the first time I was included on emails to Dr. Raz without my knowledge or permission. I suggest that they refrain from doing this not because I am trying to protect my own reputation but because these doctors get so many emails from sick women and they have no right to fill up their inboxes with all this crap. Estelle, by the way is the woman who I had written two blogs about not long ago. However, they are not up here anymore because there was a HUGE outcry from many women who had been reviewing all the stories, videos and radio press that Estelle had put out on the Internet herself. They feel her sensationalizing her mesh injuries, was hurting other women’s cases. I will state more about the press using the press at the bottom of this blog. Frankly I got sick of the phone calls and emails I received from women who were reading everything written about Estelle and they were making notes of all the discrepancies and let me know of them. Not only that but my daughter’s phone and computer was blowing up by women wanting her to do something about it and get Estelle to clarify any surgeries she had including partials before UCLA and how many surgeries she has had while out at UCLA for a month just gone. So I pulled both blogs down so that I could continue helping other sick and deserving women and hoped this would all go away.

First I want you to know why I am now making what was said via email this morning, public on this blog. It is because of one thing that was said that was slander and I now believe this couple will be saying this to everyone they know and all over Facebook, if they have not done so already. I want to address it publicly because this statement could hurt me very much.

First, this is the email:

“Hi all this is mike and I’m apologize if I am short but to put Estelle on your daughters page when 1. You know dr raz emailed her directly and said he would help her but to share lies of what he said is shocking I’m not a nurse or doctor but why are you Linda sharing anything that should be kept private 2. I myself called from the last hospital and forwarded all discharge papers but I will resend 3 Linda you yourself told Estelle not to go to ER but to have melissa treat her in room also you were aware that a dr was at my house treating Estelle . I can get all these and send. If your daughter wants to put her on a page do it when her lawsuit is done she stuck her nose out for your mom so I’m gonna ask nicely please remove her name keep the story if you want. I will attach emails in my next email please ask your daughter because Estelle is the only one involved in lawsuit that really is low”
Sent from my iPhone

I would have answered him in private except for this statement. “Linda you yourself told Estelle not to go to ER but to have melissa treat her in room also you were aware that a dr was at my house treating Estelle .”

I will now refute that statement. I NEVER tell women NOT to go to the E.R. and in fact Estelle told me she was so sick that while she was in the ER at the Pittsburg hospital, I was highly concerned that IF she flew out to UCLA she would die on the way. So I called another mesh injured woman who lives in the same State as Estelle, to find out the name of her doctor because he took care of her after her UCLA surgeries and has done so ever since and I hoped that he could stabilize her before attempting any travel. I called Mike back and gave him the woman’s name and phone number and told them that the woman was away from her home, but would be there in thirty minutes and they could call her. However, to my knowledge they never did. I also called a nurse who understands mesh injuries and asked her to speak to Estelle because I was so worried about any woman taking such a huge chance by flying when I was told she was in a toxic state. I wanted Estelle to get stabilized first and the woman who had a good doctor told me she herself would put in a good word with her doctor as she was seeing him the next morning.

But now I will take you back to my first encounter with Estelle. She friended me through Facebook just BEFORE the ER fiasco. I will state now that I had never heard of this woman before her friend request, which was easy to remember because she has an unusual name. I am wary of anyone now who friends me so I first asked her a little bit about herself as I always do and then she began telling me her story. I felt so bad for her I gave her my email address. All day long on a Saturday just after I accepted her friendship, we went back and forth via email where she vented her frustration about the Sawyers, TVT-No and Aaron Horton of the Mesh Warrior. It was nothing I had not heard before from many women and I agreed with her every word. I do want to clarify here that I am NOT on the TVT-No or Mesh Warrior support groups, and never have been, either in my own name nor any other concocted name. They are closed groups and I am not interested in either of them. However I did understand her frustrations about these people who run these groups because of what I had heard many times from other mesh injured women.

Anyway, that day ended and I got off emails and rested free of all drama for the day. I woke up on Sunday morning to an email by Mike, her husband stating that he knew I had been emailing Estelle all day the day before and he wanted me to know that he was taking her to the ER. I waited for an appropriate time and called her phone line and spoke to Estelle who sounded weak and sick. She gave the phone to Mike and I spoke to him as well, although it was difficult as they had their toddler in the ER room with them and I could hear her talking in the background. I was not sure why they would take a toddler in with them to such a stressful place, but they enlightened me that it was Mike’s idea as he wanted the doctors to know that she was a wife and mother of a very young child and the doctors needed to help her. Okay I understand, but at the same time if you have any caregiver available, and they did, The ER was just not the place for an energetic toddler. I said nothing, as right then there was more at stake. The problem began right then as to how to get Estelle some much needed help.

I want you to know that I was on the phone and emailing different places all day trying to find them a place to stay at an affordable cost because she mentioned it was going to cost a great deal to stay for any length of time and she was concerned about the cost. No one else was available to help as it was a SUNDAY, but I included the ladies who help me to let them know about Estelle via email, who I felt was a poor unfortunate young woman who needed love and support by all of us.

You see we do this for hundreds of women and none of us are paid or compensated in any way. We do it for one reason. Because we all know what it is like to be living in pain, with no one who understands what it is like to go through it, including family members. We cyber-wrap our arms around women to let them know we care and that we will help them through a really difficult time. I do not have any medical knowledge and none of us give medical advice because we are not allowed to. What we do do is give advice to women who are in the same position as Estelle, to go to the local ER where they can be stabilized before venturing on any travel plans. However Estelle was already in an ER. So on the phone when she told me no doctor in the hospital would help her, would not catheterize her when as she said, she could not urinate on her own and was filling up rapidly and was afraid she would burst. By her statement to me and publically, she thought was in a toxic state. Because of the ‘no doctor here at this hospital will do anything to help me’ statement, I told her to get media attention at the hospital so that they would give her the she needed. However this did not happen. Frankly I should have caught on right then that there was something very wrong with all this but I was caught up in trying to save this young woman. Yes I know what you are thinking when you read this. I truly am a sucker for a sick woman and you would be right.

So now I will address something else very important. Women have been contacting me since her story came out, telling me to write a blog to tell women not to go into an ER demanding anything or throwing the words around “I have mesh in my body”. Instead they should remain calm and say they believe they have an infection and ask that they be stabilized in any way possible and that a urine culture be done to name the bacteria so that they are given the right antibiotic to stop the infection from taking over. They will do it but it takes about four working days to get the results and in the meantime they will give you a general antibiotic to stabilize the situation. DO NOT GO IN WITH HUGE DEMANDS. Be courteous and you will more than likely be cared for in the way we all expect. During my time with mesh, I wound up in my local ER a few times and had wonderful treatment. So if you respect others, more than likely you will receive the same in return. IF you don’t get the care needed there are avenues to take before you call the press. They have patient advocates in every hospital and you can ask to speak to one to air your grievances. I suggested to Estelle’s husband that he do just that but he said it was Sunday and none were available. Only then if that does not work, you may consider calling in the press. I guarantee none of the press interference will be necessary at all because doctors nor hospitals want that kind of publicity and they are there to help you not to hurt you. Now that
this is done I will continue.

Next up I want to address this part of Mike’s email. ” Linda you yourself told Estelle not to go to ER but to have melissa treat her in room”. This is a BLATANT LIE and that is why I am addressing all this publically. I actually wondered why Estelle who said she was a nurse, with her nurse sister in tow, did NOT go to UCLA’s Emergency Room after they landed in LA. In fact I asked Estelle on the phone why she had not gone there and she told me Melissa had managed to remove some urine from her body, after she arrived at the hotel and she felt much better. Now this really made me wonder! Why on earth would they go to a hotel before they sought medical treatment at the UCLA ER when Estelle was TOXIC, according to what she told me and it was published on The Medical Mesh News Desk article that Jane Akre wrote about her. Do you think I would be such an idiot to tell Estelle to let her sister treat her in a hotel room? I think not! However I am not a medical person so do you think two nurses would listen to someone like me? No they would not! I went through a serious life threatening infection myself after I came home from UCLA last year. I was in so much pain and it scared the hell out of my daughter, who rushed me to the ER. None of what Mike said makes any sense, but frankly because I am sure they are spreading lies like wild fire, this blog is to put out any of the fires started by these people.

For the first week or so after she got out to UCLA, either Estelle called me, sent an email or even once a daughter called me from her hotel room. Now here is something I did not understand. I wondered why Estelle did not go to Dr. Kim’s office and try to get in immediately to see her if any cancellation was available. But she didn’t! She made various excuses to me and she then did more things that seemed very strange. The list is so long, if I write them all, this blog will become a book. But if they continue digging this hole, trying to bury me I will be forced to share everything else publicly.

Another thing I need to address. In this email Mike said “she meaning EstelleOkay let’s go over that one. Estelle was peachy sweet to me for all of about two weeks. Then she no longer contacted me. However I was worried about her so I called her while she was still at LA. She was okay but was much more distant. I am not about to bother any woman if she does not want it, so I stayed out of her life. Then I was received a sudden phone call by a young daughter of Estelle’s who was with her at LA. The young girl said her mother was throwing up and she was worried. Well, wouldn’t Estelle be running back to the ER at UCLA, or calling Dr. Kim if this was so bad? She was not far away in a hotel room and she is a nurse for God’s sake.

Instead she called me, a woman without any medical knowledge. Of course I did not wonder about that at that time because I could hear Estelle in the background throwing up so I asked her daughter what kind of medication she was on. I looked them up and first thing on Google the list of side effects that one of them said it could cause nausea. I told her which one. Frankly in my mind, that is time to stop the medication, but to stop the nausea I told her daughter that perhaps someone could get some Sprite and crackers to see if this could help her. Once again why call me? Estelle is a nurse so she says so why not check the side effects of all medications she is on. I do when I feel different or worried when I am taking prescriptions drugs and I have no medical training. But you don’t have to have any. You just need to use your common sense.

About the ‘stuck her nose out for me’ comment in this email. After Jane Akre’s story about Estelle came out, I and my daughter received so many emails and phone calls from angry women pointing out all the infractions of her stories, so once again I did the right thing. I private messaged Estelle saying that I noticed she had distanced herself from me, but something was going on that she needed to take care of. I told her about how women were gathering evidence from all the ‘mistakes’ through all her media attention and they were wondering who she was and was she a ploy for Corporate Action Network and Jane Akre’s push to involve women in her plight for gain. I told them I did not know of course. But to Estelle, I pointed out the discrepancies in Jane’s story and told her before this got out of hand it would be best to correct anything that was not right. She told me she was out and she would call me when she got home. I said that would be good. But…I never heard from her. So I left it alone until Jane posted the article she wrote about Estelle on the Medical Mesh News desk support group. So as Estelle had made comments on it I asked her to clarify the date of her surgery with Dr. Kim and how many surgeries she had while out at UCLA and how many surgeries she had before UCLA. She said surgery by Dr. Kim was June 12th and she had three partial removal surgeries in the Pittsburg area before this one. So I thanked her for clarifying and I thought that would be the end of it.

Yeah right! Next morning I got up and found I had been unfriended by Estelle and guess what? I was blocked! So much for sticking her nose out for me!

Now I need to address something else very important. I first offered to write a blog to help Estelle raise funds to stay there long enough for her ’emergency surgery’. At that time I thought she would be whisked into the operating theatre any time so that she would not die. However it was a couple of weeks before that happened. Once again I admit was such a sucker, but now I know it of course everything was a lie and I was used. I didn’t at that time but was beginning to have quite a few suspicions. Nothing was adding up. That blog caused a lot of women to cry and some gave their hard earned money to Estelle’s fund. Another mesh injured woman set up a PayPal account for Estelle’s fund raiser to go straight to her and gave me the information so that I could post a link on that blog. This was the power of caring mesh injured women who wanted to help someone just like them, who they thought was given a raw deal and was about to DIE!

I now want to apologize to any woman who gave Estelle money. I was caught up in all her drama and frankly I now know without a doubt in my mind that I was being used. I think she should return all the money given to her cause and that at least would be her first apology. I can tell you one thing. I received an email from one woman who was going to give Estelle $100, until she checked into Estelle’s background. She told me that these people did not need any money and she wanted me to know the truth of their situation. She said she only gives money to needy women who are struggling with mesh complications. However the damage was already done by my blog.

So this message is for Estelle and Mike. GIVE BACK YOUR ILL GOTTEN GAINS! These injured women need the money far more than you do! In fact Estelle, you should add another $25 to each donator to make amends for false representation.

Now you may wonder how I feel about this. Here’s is the truth! I am so upset by people using me for their own gain which includes mesh injured women who use me. You may have seen a blog about a New Zealand woman I wrote back in May. I TOOK THAT ONE DOWN TOO. And I will tell you why. I spent my time contacting people in the LA area to try to find this woman a less costly place to stay and I added the link to her fund raiser on a blog I wrote that was titled ‘Please Help a New Zealand Woman’. Guess how she paid me back. She joined up with a group of women who are hell bent on getting rid of me and my daughter off Facebook. She too unfriended me and blocked me. Once again, I apologize to any woman who gave to her fund. She too should give back any money to mesh injured women who felt sorry for her.

So guess what these women have done to hurt other women who are struggling. I will NO LONGER post any blogs to help women with their fund raisers. And you can blame these people for doing this to you!

I called my sister in England today and I told her about this morning’s email. She said to me once again that I should tell them all to P… off and close down this blog. She said she would do exactly that. Yes my family tells it like it is! You know what, there have been other times I almost did close it because of the stress of women’s complication illnesses and as of late I have felt like it, but just when I think I should pull it down I get more messages from women who thank me for having all the information out there so that women know what is happening to their bodies and they know where to go for help and what to do to try to get their lives back.

So for these women I will stay here and keep working towards getting the mesh off the market and informing other women BEFORE they have mesh put into their bodies. I made a pledge to help women because others helped me when I needed it. However I will no longer be used by anyone EVER again. I’ve had it with liars and users.

One last thing. If you think this blog has turned into nothing but drama, then you can blame all the people who have been using me for a very long time. I am going to write and expose everything to let you know how I was targeted by others from the get go and they knew exactly what they were doing. I was the only one who was in the dark. If you hate drama then it is simple. Don’t come here and don’t go to I am going to clear the air before I can go back to work, researching and writing things that will help women deal with the horror of mesh complications.

You see I have no choice. Aaron Horton, the so called Mesh Warrior and her cronies are targeting women if they click ‘like’ on anything to do with either my daughter or myself through Facebook. I want to tell these so called support people they are weak and disgusting to do that to sick women. I also want to tell the targeted women that it is quite okay for you to unfriend me and I do not take it personally. I know you don’t need the stress because I don’t either.

I want all these users for ill-gotten gain to know that in the end GOOD TRIUMPHS OVER EVIL! I have high moral standards and I don’t use women. In fact if I had wanted to do this, for the two years seven months before I had surgery by Dr. Raz at UCLA, I could have had just four lawyers and loan company ads on this blog, which would have netted me one thousand dollars a month. Yes each ad can bring in $250 a month. One thousand dollars would have bought me the insurance I needed to get out to UCLA and given me money to travel there long before I went. But here’s my problem. I find this morally corrupt. So I watched so many women who contacted me through this blog, go out for surgery, while I waited in pain until I could go on Medicare at sixty-five years old.

By the way. Everyone thinks my daughter is made of ice because she is breaking the bad news about what is happening in the mesh world. No she is not! Like me she hates moral corruptness of all those who profit from mesh injured women. If you would like to learn why I received that email this morning, which should have been sent to my daughter not me, you can click here. So she titled this blog Ice Queen. That reference is because of what others think of her.

I still have much more to write but I find this both draining and tiring, so it may be a couple more days before the next one. Please NEVER tell me to stop this. Would you really want me to know all that is going on and lie to you or keep it hidden. I think not! I am sick of the cover-up and depth of the lies and I will tell you all so that you can either believe it or not believe it. That is why we have freedom of speech in this country.


  1. Lisa

    ank you Linda for your blog. I would have never found help for my condition with out you. I am forever grateful that you gave me love and support through a very scary time in my life.
    I have been hospitalized ( inpatient ) at UCLA several times. Once I went to thier ER and was admitted right away. Signs of sepsis are low blood pressure and increased white blood cell count.

    I commend Kim! It takes alot of courage to stand up and do the right thing. Any coward can go along with the crowd.Put these fairweather friends behind you. You of all people need not to defend yourself.

    1. lavalinda

      Thank you Lisa. I appreciate this very much.

  2. Janice Wood

    Hi Linda,
    Stress and anxiety can be debilitating, exhausting and downright confusing. I don’t post much, but this blog and what you wrote at the end has me a bit concerned for you. You DO need to take a couple of days off. Maybe if everyone will leave you alone, you can get the badly needed rest that YOU need. Nevermind everyone else right now. I also wanted to reiterate that I’ve learned more from you and your writings than anywhere else on the internet. I no longer belong on those other pages…I too became tired of it all. But I wanted you to know how very much you’ve help me, the quiet one and ask you not to quit, but to take a badly needed break. Even for a couple of days. If you’re sick, you can’t help anyone…Thank you for all that you do! I will be praying for some badly needed rest for you!

    1. lavalinda

      Janice thank you so much. I can tell you that writing is my best medicine because it relieves the stress. I had to let it out after I received that email or it would have made me sick. I am okay.

  3. Mary T

    Sometimes your greatest strength can also be your weakness. You possess true empathy, and unfortunately that can make you overlook the motives of selfish people. There is only one consistent story here, and it is your story. Thank you Linda.

    1. lavalinda

      Thank you Mary.

  4. Nancy Mikitka

    I’m so sorry Kim and you are going through all of this drama and lying. I have to say thank you for not giving up and (((hugs)).

    1. lavalinda

      Thank you Nancy.

  5. Paula LeCompte

    I feel debunked. I was so worried about Estelle. I don’t have it to give but I was one of the ones who gave a little to her cause because I truly thought she was dying and destitute. People have no idea what I have been through and continue to go through because of this mesh and have the gall to prey on those of us who are so needy ourselves?!! I pray that they get their lives straightened out and realize what life is really about.

    1. lavalinda

      Paula I do know you went through and still going through. This is why I had to apologize for doing her story. I hope she gives all the money back.

  6. Gina

    I am floored and a bit nieve that women would go out of there way to do something like Estelle did!! It makes me so Angry how they would do that to you, when all you do is help! Don’t leave us were a cyber family and without you, I don’t know what I would have done! Your Amazing inside and out. I too sometimes have to step away. But Take Care of You, you do SOOO Much and your appreciated more than you know. Please rest and take care of yourself, and your daughter.


  7. pam

    Linda, don’t close down your blog, on mesh. YOU WERE THE FIRST i saw on internet about mesh, I HAD SO MANY QUESTIONS, what is going on, so much anger because I could not get answers at all from doctors. I GOT INFO FROM YOU THAT DID HELP ME, DURING SOME OF THE WORST STAGES OF MESH i was going through, that mesh cutting through , the infections ,a pain, what to do. I TOOK AND WROTE DOWN ALL YOU SAID THAT MIGHT HELP, SINCE YOU ARE AHEAD OF ME IN YEARS WITH MESH IMPLANT. I WAS RUNNING HERE AND THERE, DOCTORS , EMERGENCY ROOMS, CRUEL IS PUTTING IT MILDLY WHAT i WAS GOING THROUGH, i could have made it through, that very hard time of suffering with mesh without grasping onto you home remedies, and health remedies that got me through. I AM NOT EDUCATED, i know nothing about blogs, OR COMPUTERS, BUT WAS THANKFUL LOOKING BACK FINDING YOUR WEB SITE.
    don’t stop, YOUR INFO WAS YOUR BEST IN HELPING WOMEN THAT WANTED ANSWERS TO HELP TOO. mesh was not my fault, , like chemical companies that got greedy, so are there some doctors too. I know if a problem comes up , as I mentioned it seemed like stages with mesh, with you saying yes, I KNEW , THAT WAS 2 OF US, AND MORE, THAT HAVE GONE THROUGH SIMILAR SUFFERING IN SAME WAYS TOO. do not close your teapapers blog,WEB SITE.

  8. Sharon

    It is a despicable act for any person to tug on another’s heartstrings to get them to loosen their pursestrings. Money comes hard to me. No one helped me pay my way. Even when I was feeling lousy I forced myself to do a job I had working from home. At one time I lived near neighbors who got all the free government handouts they could get and were doing something unethical to supplement their income. They even had a huge boat – when we couldn’t afford one. One of their buddies was in the PTA, and got the school to pay for a free Thanksgiving Meal through donations. We received a request for a monetary donation in a letter brought home by our children from school. I’m sure all the people who gave to this “Needy Family” didn’t picture a family collecting government handouts that they were already supporting through their taxes, and who had a big boat sitting in their yard. I knew the real deal and did not give a cent to “benefit a needy family.” Now I am very careful about any “charity” I may give to. Instead of spending their time on the internet asking for donations, some of those “needy” people can spend their time working.


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