But for the Kindness of Strangers

I just spoke to a woman who was at the LAX airport in Los Angeles waiting to fly home. She called me because she had been through a horrendous experience and wanted me to warn other women so that it never happens to them. I listened with horror when she told me her tale and I agreed that this blog had to be written.

This was her second surgery out at UCLA and the first one she took a family member with her and all turned out okay. So when this one came up she had no problem asking the same person to go with her again. This was because she has many animals to care for and her husband was staying home to work full time to pay the bills and take care of the animals. It seemed the better arrangement to take this family member with her.

Now here she said is where things came unglued, however she had no clue that was a warning sign. Her family member asked if she could take a friend with her. No problem she thought because she was going to be out there for two weeks and didn’t expect anyone to sit around and go crazy. So she booked in at the Tiverton which she paid $1800.00 for the whole time and she paid for rented car for the two weeks which was put in the family person’s name.

She was very nervous about her surgery, leaving home and her animals but everything had gone well before so she knew she had no choice in the matter of another surgery and finally gave over to it and thought all would be fine.

Right now I am going to tell you what she told me. If someone is going with you for your surgery, don’t allow anyone else to join you. This is because they think an L.A trip is their vacation time and you will be ignored and emotionally abused. That is exactly what happened to her.

She didn’t see the warning signs until they got out there and the other woman began making snippy remarks about her. She needed someone to take her for tests before her surgery but they had plans to do other things and to them this was sheer annoyance. She knew she was going to be in hospital for a few days because she has serious health issues and could not go in for day surgery, which we all know is overnight. So the people with her had time to enjoy L.A which she didn’t mind at all. She was in hospital for a week because she had an allergic reaction to something, but was astounded when she was coming out and the two women told Dr. Raz to keep her in longer. Things were getting very obvious by this time as they rarely showed up for a short visit. I did speak to her during that first week and thought it odd that she never mentioned the family person with her.

She did get out of hospital after a week and barely made it out before her problems grew worse and they put her right back in again and had an infectious disease doctor and a radiologist search for answers. Finally they got to the core of the problem and began treating her for what was happening. Many women are ultra-sensitive to drugs, and other things used in surgeries because mesh seems to heighten everything used in or on your body. I have extreme allergies to the tape they use on IV’s insertions so they can only use paper tape on me. You constantly have to add new allergic problems to the list when you go through mesh complications and make sure none of it goes anywhere near you.

She finally got out of hospital two days before flying home and told the people with her what time to pick her up. They did not show up as they had a show booked to go to. So she was on her own. This very sick woman was left to fend for herself.

The day before she left she had to see Dr. Raz to remove the catheter. When that was done they told her they wanted to go sight-seeing and drove with her in the car. The bumpy road was getting to her so she told them she needed to go back to the hotel. This family member was so annoyed and told her she was milking it for all it was worth.

When she told me this I was so angry at anyone saying this to someone who has just gone through this surgery because it is huge! Unless you have gone through it you have no idea how tough it is.

She then had to pack her bag to get ready to leave next day and because she could not lift anything, somehow she got down on the floor to do it. No one else offered to help her. We all know how hard it is to get down on the floor after these surgeries. When the family members friend walked by she kicked her clothes out of the way. Can you imagine this?

The clincher was that when it was time to go to the airport they took the car she had paid for and left her to fend for herself and get a taxi.

Now this is the last insult. She had to get her luggage out to the taxi and asked at the front desk for help. She was told no one was available and they left this woman take her own bag out to the taxi. How disgusting and the front desk staff SHOULD BE REPRIMANDED. I decided to search for someone she could contact at the Tiverton when she felt better. However, the email information for the general manager of the Tiverton is now unavailable. I complained directly to him one time when I found it. I guess he doesn’t want to mess with anyone who complains about the staff of this hotel.

I can tell you this the hotel does a really good job for the most part. The cleaning staff and other staff are friendly and courteous. BUT. The front desk female staff are cold and uncaring and this is terrible considering this is a non-profit hotel for the sick and injured. They should be kind and helpful.

So how can you complain so that no one else has to go through this? Well I kept digging and you can go through this email address and let this man know what is going on and ask him to forward your complain to the General Manager of the Tiverton House Hotel. This is what I found.

Brian Loew, Director of Development, e-mail bloew@support.ucla.edu

I cannot guarantee how long this email will stay but if it changes, then you can leave your complaints here

This woman was abused by a family member she trusted and left to fend for herself at a time she really needed help. She told me that she would have received more kindness from one of her animals. I hope you will heed who you take with you because the last thing you need is this kind of treatment.

But I will end on a good note. But for the kindness of strangers she would have been in a terrible mess. The taxi driver was so shocked at how she was treated, he got out of his taxi at the airport and took her all the way to the check in desk along with her luggage. Now that is wonderful to hear. At last someone who had compassion for a very sick woman.


  1. Nancy Mikitka

    After what happened to this mesh wounded Angel, I am sickened and heartbroken for her. I hope and pray she heals completely from her repair surgery and also moves forward with her life leaving this ingrate of a relative behind her!

  2. Peggy.

    Linda, TOO, many times as this, family and those we trust, leave. I was close to death, after attempt to remove mesh, and before 6 weeks I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL , (NOT AT THE HOSPITAL THAT TRIED MESH REMOVAL A LOCAL HOSPITAL, it is not in the records what the doctor said that night, That if she let me go home , i could die, infection of pneumonia had come up, hard to breathe, I STAYED OVER NIGHT . Still not well at all, again I called a family member, and I had got a last will and testament ready for her to get signed and notorized, she was more than willing to come and take me back to the emergency room to get oxygen needed , she knew someone at hospital to notorize the will and last testament. After that she got cruel, and would not follow through with going with me to doctors, on time she was not working, I told her I WOULD WORK THINGS WITH APPOINTMENTS TO HAVE HER IN ROOM THAT i WAS BEING MISTREATED AND CRUELY SPOKEN TO BY DOCTORS AND NURSES.
    i waited and called her to ask why she said that she would go, and lied to me, , She so hatefully said , Leave me alone! IT IS AS IF THEY WANT YOU TO NOT LIVE THROUGH THIS, IF i could find 1 person that would truly care and carry out my wishes at death and take care of me, I would change that will in a minute, to the one that helped me, a stranger , to take anything, from mesh case to all I have over family , friends you do not have. during mesh at all. IT IS EVERY WHERE YOU GO, people every where in this small area, knew what was done to me with mesh, before I did. and I BELIEVE STOPPED ME FROM GETTING GOOD MEDICAL TREATMENT LOCALLY. Most women have their horror stories of mesh. Some to many,being denied medical help, and then family and deserting you. I HAVE BEEN THEIR FOR OTHERS ALL OF MY LIFE , wanting nothing , family and friends, helping others, WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO PEOPLE? i do not mind dying, but this was not god’s timing for my death at all, that is why I FIGHT, (a good fight) this was done by those so evil. I AM JUSTIFIED IN MY ANGER , WHAT I HEAR WHAT IS HAPPENING TO WOMEN IN MESH, KNOWING WHAT i HAVE GONE THROUGH ALSO. THEY CANNOT JUSTIFY, NO MATTER HOW MANY LIES THEY TELL AND COVER UP. Family and friends get just as greedy, wanting your death too. THE SHAME TODAY , of family and friends. that leave you.

    1. lavalinda

      Peggy sometimes we have to look at this through our family members eyes. My daughter wrote what this has been like for her. http://teapapers.com/bladdersling/2014/06/daughter-of-mesh/


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