Honoring My Daughter
Today is Mother’s Day and I just got up, made a cup of tea and fed my dog. It is my early morning ritual that I am thrilled to do because a year ago I was not sure I would ever be able to do it again. But I didn’t recover alone. My daughter was with me every step of the way, helping me when I could not help myself.
My daughter Kim was recently asked what she had done to help mesh injured women. It was a diversion question that she did not answer. But I will answer today on Mother’s Day. I gave birth to her yes, but I taught her to think for herself and not follow the crowd. She never got into trouble as a teen. Never smoked, took drugs or any other substance. I never once had to worry about her because she was upstanding in all she did and does now. I like that she has a mind of her own and doesn’t follow anyone because that is how I am too. We think for ourselves.
Without her I would not be a mother of course, but as the years went by and she grew up we shared the gift of creativity. That gave us a great deal in common and cemented a bond. No we don’t always agree with each other but we don’t sweat the small stuff. We find ways to agree to disagree and still love each other.
When this mesh stuff happened to me over four years ago she began researching to see what I could take to hold my immune system together until the day came I could get it removed. Money was gone and when I had to have more surgery after the mesh was put into me, she took me for months, once a week in and out of downtown Houston which was two hours’ drive each way. She watched me suffer through endless doctor visits where I was told I didn’t have a problem, even though it was clear I did.
Even though I am a very independent person there are times when I have been overwhelmed and didn’t know what to do to save myself. So she researched at the end of the day when she was tired herself and ordered various supplements on line to see if she could get me back to the way I was. She raised funds to buy the things I needed because the money wasn’t there.
When I needed to travel out to UCLA she went with me and it wasn’t a good time. She did not site see while I was lying in bed in the hotel room, she wandered out to buy food in hopes I would feel like eating. Every trip was boring for her but she did it anyway. The last trip our funds were so close so I went out there on my own, but I was not alone. I knew so many mesh injured women by that time and one offered for me to stay in her hotel room because I could not get one in the area. Another, along with her husband picked me up after surgery and made sure I was okay and many women were there for me during my recovery. Kim wasn’t sitting on her laurels while I was away. She ripped out my entire bathroom to rebuild it so I could take a shower sitting down because of my dizzy issues which were the result of the drug Gentomicin and there is no cure. I came home to a new bathroom with everything taken care of so I could grab hold of handles to steady myself and sit on a built in shower seat.
Last year when I was in serious trouble, the Home Health nurses taught her how to do my IV treatments and how to take care of issues I couldn’t handle. She did the rituals without any complaints.
Whatever I need she makes sure I have it on hand. I cannot do much around our home the way I used to so everything falls on her shoulders. I cannot drive a car, so anywhere I need to go she takes me.
I know I am a very fortunate woman to have a daughter like her. One who has not walked away and one who puts me first instead of other mesh injured women. Believe me it is enough as my needs are far too many.
So I wanted to take a little time the morning of this Mother’s Day to let the world know I am one very lucky mother and to thank her for being there for me and not dumping me because this has all been far too much trouble.
I Love you Dearly Kim and appreciate all you do for me and other women.
Yes, Kim has helped other women but we don’t yell to the world what we do. We just do what needs to be done without any fanfare. She now shares me with many mesh injured women who do not have anyone to turn to and she listens when I tell her all the terrible stories that are happening to women. It is not a fun topic and I am sure gets very tiring.
I wish every mother could have a son or daughter like her. I am very lucky.