Who Do You Trust
Trust! This five letter word is simple to say and yet has tremendous meanings. Most women after the fight of their lives to prove to their doctors that they are suffering from mesh, are pretty worn down by the time they have spent months to years trying to get help. When at last someone hears their voice and they travel to a doctor to have the mesh removed, they have spent so much money and they are living on very little. Sometimes they are so severely overwhelmed by it all and the continuing pain from nerve damage, they just want to crawl into bed and stay there. But they cannot give up. They have to dig even deeper to find a way to carry on with their lives.
By this time they also realize there is a price on their heads from just about everyone, including those who seem to come out of the woodwork and become an ‘instant’ friend or set up a foundation that is touted as to help mesh injured women. They are prone to scams and those who prey because they are vulnerable. They can so easily let their guard down and be taken in by anyone with a mission. Missions can be anything from taking your money either before or later or simply latching onto you because it gives their own lives meaning.
Then there is the other side of the coin. Those who stand to make millions from us as a group collectively. We are not worth much as individuals, but as a whole we have the potential to make a lot of other people rich. So how do you process all this? It is going to be very tough for everyone over the next one to two years. You will more than likely lose faith in human nature unless you think ahead.
So let’s think about trust first. Honestly you should trust no one including me. This is because you must think for yourself and not give your trust too willingly. Trust has to be earned not taken. Trust builds slowly over time if it is worthwhile. If someone immediately tells you they love you and are your friend, although you’ve never met them before, step back and take your time. This may sound odd but you need to view this person from outside your box.
Women are emotional human beings. We usually think emotionally and that can get us in deep trouble. So you have to begin to think differently to get through this time and not wind up emotionally destroyed. No, that doesn’t mean you should become cold hearted and calculating. It means you need to watch and wait when making friendships at any time, but more so especially now.
What’s going to happen when all the hullabaloo is over?
You need to be an individually strong person and rely on only you to wind up in decent shape. Most of us have never been put in this position during our lives and we really don’t know how to cope or what to do. Many women have gone through huge trying times with partners, mothers, daughters and friends. They often find themselves abandoned by relationships who they always thought were deep friendships. Others have been abandoned by husbands or partners. Everyone who has abandoned a mesh injured woman has made her more prone to someone who has an agenda.
Please do not think that I think that every new friendship will end in disaster when our day in court is done. I don’t. In fact I already know women I will remain friends with even though I may not ever meet them. These women have been wonderful to me and many other women who are injured. But not every friendship born out of your mesh injury will sustain. You have to be prepared to face some sadness due to this and get yourself strong enough to withstand these challenges.
How do I recognize true friends?
This is the sixty-four million dollar question that has no answer. There are usually hints which I covered previously. If someone is all over you and yet you have never met them before, that alone is a warning. If someone seems wonderful and yet when they find out what you have or what you own, they seem distant or wants to latch onto you that is another warning. If someone seems envious of anything about your life, whether it be your family or friends that is another warning. Sadly, we usually don’t heed small warnings when we are in a vulnerable place until it is very noticeable, so don’t give out your heart too quickly. Take your time. Enjoy new friendships but stand back from time to time and view the person so that you can really ‘see’ them. I’m not telling you to walk away then, I am telling you to take your time and keep saving part of yourself so that you do not feel destroyed at the end. Hopefully your friendship will improve and get to a point of real trust.
How much are you worth?
When it comes to your worth you cannot trust anyone. You must decide what you are worth and what you are willing to accept when a price is offered. There are many factors that won’t be considered unless you do it. This is a good time now to think for yourself and come up with a price you can live with. I am going to give you some interesting links to read and make you think. Be prepared now!
You can’t have a discussion about this unless you’ve done your homework. You live YOUR life and no one else does. The saddest part is you are worth something to others, but not always in a way that is heartwarming. You will find at the end of this hugely trying time of your life that most sites and blogs will go away. It may hit you like a ton of bricks unless you prepare yourself now. You have to ask yourself what others are getting out of the mess we are in. When you do it, it will make you distrust everyone and believe me that is your first beginning of preparation to handle your life in the future.
People who don’t know you will decide what you are worth based on education, age and other factors. It is cold hearted calculations that have nothing to do with you or the life you worked so hard to get. There will be many considerations of your life left out. So you need to think long and hard about what you think it will take to get you through the rest of your life.
You can start by reading this and take a note pad and a pencil and begin to write down what will affect you and your life. It may make you very sad to do this, but you will get stronger just by doing this very act.
We all know we are dealing with defective medical devices and yet no one including our governments are admitting this very true fact. Just because it is a medical device it should not be a one price deal for anyone. Get writing things down but don’t get mad, start preparing.
And here is another to help give you an idea of what to think and do.
And nursing homes. Just because you are older, the price of the rest of your life will go down and yet the real price of caring for you will go up! Many of us will be left with permanent damage from these products that will be more difficult to deal with as you age. So because your family member will have to work to pay their own way, this should be considered.
None of us want to be mercenary and yet we should be. Prepare yourself now and try hard to stay strong and calm. Don’t accept what you think is far too low a price of what you think you are worth. You may be coerced or badgered. You may be so upset you do things you will regret later. But later is the REST OF YOUR LIFE, and no one else’s. At the end of the day, most people will walk out of your life, totally unscathed by what has happened to you. After all, it isn’t their life, it’s yours. I hope what I have written here will help you understand your worth and make you stronger. With Love. Linda