Who Do You Trust

Trust! This five letter word is simple to say and yet has tremendous meanings. Most women after the fight of their lives to prove to their doctors that they are suffering from mesh, are pretty worn down by the time they have spent months to years trying to get help. When at last someone hears their voice and they travel to a doctor to have the mesh removed, they have spent so much money and they are living on very little. Sometimes they are so severely overwhelmed by it all and the continuing pain from nerve damage, they just want to crawl into bed and stay there. But they cannot give up. They have to dig even deeper to find a way to carry on with their lives.

By this time they also realize there is a price on their heads from just about everyone, including those who seem to come out of the woodwork and become an ‘instant’ friend or set up a foundation that is touted as to help mesh injured women. They are prone to scams and those who prey because they are vulnerable. They can so easily let their guard down and be taken in by anyone with a mission. Missions can be anything from taking your money either before or later or simply latching onto you because it gives their own lives meaning.

Then there is the other side of the coin. Those who stand to make millions from us as a group collectively. We are not worth much as individuals, but as a whole we have the potential to make a lot of other people rich. So how do you process all this? It is going to be very tough for everyone over the next one to two years. You will more than likely lose faith in human nature unless you think ahead.

So let’s think about trust first. Honestly you should trust no one including me. This is because you must think for yourself and not give your trust too willingly. Trust has to be earned not taken. Trust builds slowly over time if it is worthwhile. If someone immediately tells you they love you and are your friend, although you’ve never met them before, step back and take your time. This may sound odd but you need to view this person from outside your box.

Women are emotional human beings. We usually think emotionally and that can get us in deep trouble. So you have to begin to think differently to get through this time and not wind up emotionally destroyed. No, that doesn’t mean you should become cold hearted and calculating. It means you need to watch and wait when making friendships at any time, but more so especially now.

What’s going to happen when all the hullabaloo is over?

You need to be an individually strong person and rely on only you to wind up in decent shape. Most of us have never been put in this position during our lives and we really don’t know how to cope or what to do. Many women have gone through huge trying times with partners, mothers, daughters and friends. They often find themselves abandoned by relationships who they always thought were deep friendships. Others have been abandoned by husbands or partners. Everyone who has abandoned a mesh injured woman has made her more prone to someone who has an agenda.

Please do not think that I think that every new friendship will end in disaster when our day in court is done. I don’t. In fact I already know women I will remain friends with even though I may not ever meet them. These women have been wonderful to me and many other women who are injured. But not every friendship born out of your mesh injury will sustain. You have to be prepared to face some sadness due to this and get yourself strong enough to withstand these challenges.

How do I recognize true friends?

This is the sixty-four million dollar question that has no answer. There are usually hints which I covered previously. If someone is all over you and yet you have never met them before, that alone is a warning. If someone seems wonderful and yet when they find out what you have or what you own, they seem distant or wants to latch onto you that is another warning. If someone seems envious of anything about your life, whether it be your family or friends that is another warning. Sadly, we usually don’t heed small warnings when we are in a vulnerable place until it is very noticeable, so don’t give out your heart too quickly. Take your time. Enjoy new friendships but stand back from time to time and view the person so that you can really ‘see’ them. I’m not telling you to walk away then, I am telling you to take your time and keep saving part of yourself so that you do not feel destroyed at the end. Hopefully your friendship will improve and get to a point of real trust.

How much are you worth?

When it comes to your worth you cannot trust anyone. You must decide what you are worth and what you are willing to accept when a price is offered. There are many factors that won’t be considered unless you do it. This is a good time now to think for yourself and come up with a price you can live with. I am going to give you some interesting links to read and make you think. Be prepared now!

You can’t have a discussion about this unless you’ve done your homework. You live YOUR life and no one else does. The saddest part is you are worth something to others, but not always in a way that is heartwarming. You will find at the end of this hugely trying time of your life that most sites and blogs will go away. It may hit you like a ton of bricks unless you prepare yourself now. You have to ask yourself what others are getting out of the mess we are in. When you do it, it will make you distrust everyone and believe me that is your first beginning of preparation to handle your life in the future.

People who don’t know you will decide what you are worth based on education, age and other factors. It is cold hearted calculations that have nothing to do with you or the life you worked so hard to get. There will be many considerations of your life left out. So you need to think long and hard about what you think it will take to get you through the rest of your life.

You can start by reading this and take a note pad and a pencil and begin to write down what will affect you and your life. It may make you very sad to do this, but you will get stronger just by doing this very act.

We all know we are dealing with defective medical devices and yet no one including our governments are admitting this very true fact. Just because it is a medical device it should not be a one price deal for anyone. Get writing things down but don’t get mad, start preparing.

And here is another to help give you an idea of what to think and do.

And nursing homes. Just because you are older, the price of the rest of your life will go down and yet the real price of caring for you will go up! Many of us will be left with permanent damage from these products that will be more difficult to deal with as you age. So because your family member will have to work to pay their own way, this should be considered.

None of us want to be mercenary and yet we should be. Prepare yourself now and try hard to stay strong and calm. Don’t accept what you think is far too low a price of what you think you are worth. You may be coerced or badgered. You may be so upset you do things you will regret later. But later is the REST OF YOUR LIFE, and no one else’s. At the end of the day, most people will walk out of your life, totally unscathed by what has happened to you. After all, it isn’t their life, it’s yours. I hope what I have written here will help you understand your worth and make you stronger. With Love. Linda

19 Comments

  1. gina

    Your right! This is so true! I feel alone in this but my mom has always been very supportive! And had I not found your site I don’t know what would have happened to me. This is where Everyone understands this is where you go above and beyond to help and educate us. You give us your hand and guide us when we are lost I feel like No ONE has, done that! Lawyers are only looking at dollar signs your just a number to them, but you are so Right! Flip that and we can do the same use them to our advantage, since no one will ever know what we go through, and what we will live with! God blessed us with a beautiful thing that no one can recreate and its called LIFE, thank you Linda for making us stronger, educated and helping us take our like back as much as we can.

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  2. gina

    Linda, do you know anyone who is traveling on the 3rd of June? My appt. With Dr. Raz is June 4th, leaving on the 4th, I know this is public and we need to be safe and watchful with what we put out there. But what about a buddy partner for our mesh angels who are traveling out here? We can wear our mesh shirts, so we can stand out and know we are part of this group!

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    1. lavalinda

      Gina I have put the word out and will send you an email if I find someone. I know many are going this month and June but not when. A buddy would be wonderful for any woman going out there. I know there will be women out there but do not trust anyone unless I put you in contact with them because this is bad times. Read this. http://teapapers.com/bladdersling/2014/05/warning-taking-loans/

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    2. lavalinda

      Gina I found someone. I am going to introduce you both.

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  3. gina

    Awesome!! Thank you so much!! I feel better just knowing its someone that You know I can’t believe how Bad its getting with this! We already have so much on our plate. You use the right phrase we are targets, but I guess that also means the word is getting out there how serious this is. I wonder how MANY of us (in your support group) we are? I’m so glad I found your safe haven and glad you know many of us, because it seems now some our invading our space and finding out what they can benefit from….so Sad!

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  4. gina

    Linda, I know first appt. Are exam and consultation a lot of has come up about the cost what about for women traveling alone find a buddy and could even split the cost of hotel stay? They wouldn’t feel alone and were part of your support group. I say who ever is part of our support group wear our Angels Mesh T-shirts. My family will travel with me when I have surgery but again trying to be careful with how much I put out there since we might have people invading our space…but I think you know what I’m trting to express. Again trying to see how we can support and help each other.

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  5. gina

    One more thing this could be set up to ride together to airport if leaving from same city or once in LA to taxi splitting the cost etc..Ladies we are on a mission we can figure this out and try and help each other as much as possible. Just please come in with good intetensions. I hope everyone we come in contact with is a True mesh Angel and if your not we will know. We can try this and see how it works out?

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  6. gina

    I want to Scream Cry until I can’t no more! I am soo Frustrated with the hospital, doctors! I have been dealing with trying to get my medical records from 2002 & 2003. And to make a long story short they basically said they don’t know what happen to them? I had 2 different surgeries in 2003 they could only provide operative report for one doctor and OF COURSE not the one that provided the monarc procedure. For some reason even when I asked for them in 2011 they could not find it then. The stor they are sticking to is its been 10 years. But if I’m not mistaking my surgery was in 10/2003 would the ten year be in 10/2014? I asked for them last year too and they said they couldn’t find them just the other procedure BUT they can (not sure what) that I went in for surgery with this doctor in 2003! I am So upset can they do this just say I don’t know what happened to them snd there is nothing else they can do? 🙁

    Reply
    1. lavalinda

      Gina they have stored them somewhere. I wrote A blog about it because other women had the same problem. http://teapapers.com/bladdersling/2013/03/medical-records-law/

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  7. gina

    This doctor put this in with No Reason none, I discovered after years of health issues and after finding your blog to go to a urologist that is when he said it was defiently a sling! Imagine finding out you have one and being told he only put a mesh in you to seperate your bladder from uterus because it was stuck together, then to see advertisements about symptoms you can relate to and find out Years later by another doctor Yes you defiently have a sling around your urethra. I felt like a dagger went through my heart, like someone punched me in the stomach. Scared, heatbreaking, I trusted this doctor with my life and my kids!

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  8. gina

    I’m trying Linda I did read that and their was a lot of good information! But I feel like like their (Doctor/hospital medical records) are a giant compared to me but I’m trying. Its exhausting and stressful but I’m willing to fight for my rights. I just feel like I’m hitting a brick wall.

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    1. lavalinda

      Gina I sent you an email. Did you get it?

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  9. gina

    No, I didn’t get it. I just checked it again. I stepped away I just could not stop crying I still feel upset I just can’t believe it! I’m still trying to get everything I need for Dr. Raz and I’m having to fight.

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    1. lavalinda

      Gina I gave you my phone number. Can you post using an email address different than this one and I can see it and send it to you. I wanted you to have that support.

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  10. gina

    I just noticed my email is wrong I just corrected it.

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    1. lavalinda

      Gina I hope you got it this time.

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  11. gina

    Linda, I’m having a really having a bad day today! I’m really trying to hold it together at work. My husband is so very clueless on this…I recently ran out of this remedy I seen on your site. And its starting to take effect that I have not been taking it so I’m starting to have a lot of pain.

    Reply
    1. lavalinda

      Gina did you get my email?

      Reply
  12. gina

    I’m sorry I just feel like this is the ONLY place that understands me!

    Reply

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