Mesh & the Erosion of Women’s Lives
There are four mesh injured women who help me answer the cries of women around this country. There are a handful of women in many other countries who do the same for women in their world who need help and some kind of direction and comfort. We are all mesh injured and we do this because we care. We can’t give personal attention to every woman because we would never sleep. Never deal with our own pain and anguish. But we do what we can, when we can.
We know the real truth about what is happening to women and we do our best to help them. We also have to break the news to them that doctors around the world cannot remove all the mesh and the arms/anchors. We know that this news will often devastate a woman even more because she has to resolve in her mind that she can’t get help tomorrow. But we have to tell the truth because we know the truth. It hurts us when we do this and it hurts them even more.
Yesterday we were trying to help two young women, both in their thirties. We know that at such a young age, their lives could be ruined by the wrong doctor and what seems like mesh hell right now can turn into a worse hell. We hate being the bearers of bad news. We hate that women’s bodies continue to be desecrated.
One woman is thirty three and is living in her own mesh hell. Her symptoms are common but these common symptoms are extreme for MANY women around the world. I spoke to her over the phone and she sounded bright and articulate. She is afraid for her relationship and would like to have more than the one child she now has. We want her to have those children and go on to raise them and see future grandchildren.
This has happened to so many young women, still of child bearing age. One of the ladies who helps me has a medical background and she does all she can to assure and help these young women. But her shoulders are the shoulders of a severely injured mesh woman who suffers greatly herself.
The second woman was thirty-six years old when the sling was put into her. She is now only thirty nine and can barely take care of her children. I woke up early this morning with my own issues in my mind and knew I would not sleep any longer. So I opened my email and this poignant letter states how thousands of women live every day. Is it living? No! Mesh causes erosion in a woman’s body and the erosion of her life. You can now read what we read constantly. These are real women and these are their own words. I know many of you will recognize their pain.
“Hello my new found friends, I am thankful for the kind and quick responses from you. I am laying here in my bed feeling like, ” Ice Picks” going all down my legs and through my pelvis. My rear end kills and I feel like crying but am tired of it. I am worn out in every way possible. What makes me even more sick is to know that I may have to wait awhile to have it removed.
I am so tired of getting poked, prodded, checked and told that I am wrong and don’t know what I’m talking about. I am alarmed that so many doctors find that money is more important than a woman’s health. Why would they care? That would be biting the hand that feeds them. I am truly amazed that you care. My world is a complete change from where it was 3 1/2 years ago. I’m a completely different person who has lost every ounce of ambition and zest for life. Not only am I going through this but I am dealing with menopause from a complete hysterectomy. I seriously feel like a walking medical mishap!
It amazes me how many doctors actually do not really care about the bottom issue. It’s here’s a pill, now scoot along so I can cram another patient in. I am now on 10 different medications, most of which have horrid side effects. I’m so disappointed and saddened that my life has come to this. I sit here and literally watch my kids grow up and don’t have one ounce of ambition to get up and do anything with or for them. I hate to cook, clean or go anywhere. I think the only thing that saves me from having a hoarder home is that I am OCD about clutter. It literally is unreal how much I have lost my love for everything that means anything to me. I get irritated and moody a lot and then I feel extremely guilty for the way I treat my loved ones. It’s not right and I know that I am wrong in my actions. I can only say I am lost, not myself, and starting to become hopeless.
When I came across Linda’s blog I could not stop reading it, thus leaving me with little sleep. My question to you is this, what if Dr. Raz cannot help me, where do I go from there? Also, should I wait to hear if he emails me back before making an appointment, to see if I need to go with him or if one of his associates can perform the removal? Or just go ahead and schedule the soonest I can get in? Thanks so much for all your help.”
We don’t make choices for women. We give them the fact that we have learned by doing this every day and they must make their own choices. We don’t bully women into going out to UCLA. Not all women wait and they go to doctors near them. When they return to us, with such sadness when they realize they did not get any better and often far worse, we don’t turn them away. I answered this woman’s email first thing and this is what I wrote.
“…….., you have written what has been happening to thousands of women for years. You have also written every woman’s worse fear. What if Dr. Raz can’t help me? No he is not God. He is one man with a great deal of experience who does his best to help us when no one else can.
We all know your desperation. We read it every day and we too will try to help you through this, but we can only do so much. The rest is up to you. We know what happens with these so called revision surgeries. Not only have some of us experienced them and become worse, but we also read or hear what has happened to women around the world. Only you can make up your mind who you will go to. We know the hardships this causes women and the long wait for consult and then surgery. I waited over two years and it was hell. But all that time I read what had happened to other women when they went to different surgeons and realized my hell was far less than theirs.
Dr. Raz has stated that cutting a piece out of a sling is like letting shrapnel loose. We all know that this is the truest statement ever spoken. We know because we have lived it. Once it is loose, you can’t stop the rebounding results.
Many women get desperate and one hell leads to another and often worse hell.
We tell women to hang in every day. They often feel they will never make it through. Somehow they do and they find that strength. Your strength is your children. Somehow you have to get through this by the hour, if not by the day.
We truly care.
No sooner than I finished another email came in from yet another desperate woman. This is that email.
“I am looking for a doctor to finish removing mesh that was put in me. this was not the surgery I was supposed to have. I didn’t find out till I woke up. I finally had a partial vagina mesh removal. but now I am worse. my strength in my legs are so bad I can hardly walk. my lower back abdomen groin hurt .my bladder has pressure and a fullness all more Than before. she refuses to remove the rest of the mesh. she doesn’t want to cut me open. that it would cause worse problems. my life is ruined now. I thought she was taking it all out .she did just the vagina because the mesh was eroding out. she said you should be able to have relations with your husband in 6 wks. that wasn’t the reason I wanted it out. and as for sex the pain is terrible. so that surgery is for nothing. I am trying to find a doctor who actually cares. I have to get a referral and why I need this done. I was told there was a doctor at mayo. but I don’t know. I just want my life back to be a wife be able to do things with my kids and grandkids .right now I am at the point I am going to have to use a wheelchair. isn’t there any doctor that cares anymore? They put this in you and refuse to undo their damage. Lord help us all”
This was my answer to her.
I am so sorry this has happened to you, but now it is up to me to break more bad news. Please go to this link and you will find the only doctors who can remove it all. http://meshangels.com/2013/02/mesh-is-a-journey I am including three of the ladies who help me and I know at least one of them will respond to you. It will still be a wait to get the appointments but I can assure these doctors do care. Love. Linda
You do not know who these women are but I am using their exact words because these women speak the truth of what is happening to women all around the world. Their mesh journeys will take them down a long road of pain, anxiety and despair. It is the journey of thousands of once healthy and productive women. It is very sad……………….
You should also know that this does take a toll on us emotionally. It is hard to do this every day, when you are still dealing with your own mesh injury issues, but we do it because neither doctors, nor mesh manufacturers will and they ignore these women’s pleas.
Update. For new information click here. http://meshangels.com/2014/04/mesh-will-i-get-complications-in-the-future/