Happiness & Hope

I know that there are many women who follow this blog who are new to the discovery that mesh has been causing there illness or more than one illness for a few years. It is such a difficult realization to deal with because not only do you need money to have it removed, you need time off work for a slow healing process and you need a good surgeon who can remove it at one time if at all possible. If you are lucky and have not had surgery after surgery removing small pieces at a time, then you stand the best chance of recovery and the costs will be worth going out to UCLA. I know because this morning I read two feed backs, one publically on here as a comment and one privately. “There is life after mesh” is the message.

The message is clear. Life will be vastly different a year from now if you take steps to change your life.

I know the sadness of thousands of women because I read it every day and to read about two women with good results, who feel they made the right decision this morning, gave me a huge lift. This is because so many women are in terrible pain and are fighting their insurance companies to be able to live without pain. No it is not right. Suffering women have to continue to suffer far longer while they go through this process and yet even they are luckier that those whose illness took them down a long road where they lost their jobs and no longer have insurance. So for me, good news is heartwarming and I wanted to share it with you.

The process of going to the right surgeon can take a few months. Then healing from surgery can take a few more. But you can one day be on the other side of this agony trail. Never give up. Never say I can’t. I waited 2 years and 7 months because I had no choice either, but I made it there. Next month I will go down the road of fascia sling surgery. I am putting a blog together before I leave and I will write a blog after I am home and well enough to do so. I know that some women will also need this surgery and they too want answers. Answers that I cannot give you until I have been through it. Then I can give you a view of it from your prospective as well as mine. The human prospective. What to deal with. How it feels and the results. I am always optimistic and work hard at thinking positive. I want to do well and that is the key.

Stay vigilant after you have had removal surgery and take those supplements. Your body has been hit hard by this and you need to stay on top of it. This is a long journey to get back the life you once lived. You need all the help you can get. It is still a mesh marathon. Beware of vitamin D deficiency. http://meshangels.com/2013/02/running-a-mesh-marathon It is sad to realize some women also have breast cancer.

My message to you from me and other women is “There is life and a future”. We know. We are so happy to be alive.  My heart sings when I read good news for a change, because I read so much bad and it makes me want to write poetry.  If you feel your life is improving after going to one of the doctors at UCLA or Dr. Twiss, please leave your comment of hope for others who suffer.


Hope is rays of sunshine
That warms us from the sky
Lifting us from sadness
And thoughts “I wonder why?”

‘H’ is for the happiness
That’s often felt as glee
‘O’ is for an orange glow
We feel but others see

‘P’ is for perfection
When hope is kept alive
‘E’ is for elation
We feel it deep inside

The sky has much to offer
On days when you can’t cope
Find that ray of sunshine
And seek a piece of hope

Linda Kilpatrick
Copyright 2013



  1. Sharon Stephens

    I will be one year post-removal this week. There is no comparison between then and now. I have my life back! There is hope.

    1. lavalinda

      Thank you Sharon for leaving this simple sentence and message. Other women need to understand that the right doctors can mean everything to our future. Moving forward in whatever way we can is the most important thing we can do for ourselves. I want women to know it is okay to live again.

  2. Angels123

    I have been 3 months post surgery. Even now the difference between then and now is enormous. There are days I have to remind myself of how bad it really was to remember to put up with the minor aches and pains I still have. All I can say is I’m 43 and I had over 3 years of hell…I gave up on everything ever being good ever again. It is worse than having cancer because at least with cancer they tell you what is wrong and treat you. With mesh they will try to hide it and will be successful unless the consumer educates themselves to confront and seek out other help. I felt like I was dying and I’m sure I was. Thank you Linda so much for helping me find the right kind of help..I truly can not ever repay you for our efforts here. I hope that after a year I will be like Sharon and mesh will just be a vague memory…one I would love to forget..!

    1. lavalinda

      Angels none of us will be the way we were before we had a sling, but we can learn to live again a new life that will be rewarding. First we have lost trust and faith in thinking of any doctor as the one person we can trust when we have a problem or are sick. I don’t think that will ever be restored for any of us again. Yes, if we had cancer we would have been treated with kindness and compassion, but we are treated with distain, as liars. Our pain ignored and we are left without help. Many of us will be left with nerve damage from the origial sling, but thankfully at UCLA they won’t ATTEMPT at removal, pulling the mesh from areas that are connected with nerves and muscles. They will do everything posible to leave you no further injured than you were. And then your body will do a trek through a very slow healing process for a year. Whatever we are left with we have to learn how to deal with and live again. At forty-three you have a lifetime of things to do as yet. Do them and enjoy.

  3. BatyaSarah

    So are you saying they will probably leave some of the mesh in if it is connected despite the pain to our nerves even at UCLA?? Sorry if I’m asking this question in the wrong place. I don’t want false hope if perhaps they are going to tell me I can’t get back to feeling as good as I once did I want to know prior to going so I won’t be totally depressed if that is what Dr. Raz tells me.

  4. lavalinda

    They rarely leave any mesh in at UCLA. No one can tell you anything for sure until they have done all the tests the day before surgery. Dr. Raz is a brilliant surgeon and he has removed mesh when women were told it was impossible. One lady it was stuck to her spine and he removed it. She had terrible headaches among many other things because she had a lot of mesh in her. It took two surgergies because of the amount of it, but she is doing well. She now helps me help other women. You can read her story here. http://meshmedicaldevicenewsdesk.com/patient-profiles/endurance-athlete-pat-buchanan-still-trying-to-turn-her-life-around-after-two-mesh-removal-surgeries


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