Speaking Out

I woke up this morning thinking about all the women who need help and cannot get it due to bladder sling mesh. How infection is spreading through their bodies and no one tells them how serious this is all because they don’t want to frighten women. I know how they feel but staying silent won’t help these women, in fact it won’t give them a chance at a better life.

If I stopped speaking out then I know more women will be severely injured by doctors who have poor skills in removing mesh or infection will spread throughout women’s bodies and they will eventually die from them. How soon will it take? Well, I don’t have the answer to that and nor would any doctor. But I am going to give you two examples of women who went through this and they spoke out.

First, I had to look up to see when this happened to remind myself of how far this woman has come in so short a time. If you read this blog you will know when and how this came about. http://meshangels.com/2012/03/mesh-can-kill-you It was dated March 27th 2012. I had to remind myself of the date because even I can’t believe this woman has done so well in so short a time. I never used her name or any details when I wrote this blog because I respect the fact that many women do not want to speak out. But later she did speak out to a lady who has become a friend and she is a medical news reporter. Her name is Jane Akre and she has been horrified that this has happened to so many women, even though she does not have mesh herself. So you can read about Mary here at that time. http://meshmedicaldevicenewsdesk.com/patient-profiles/suffering-in-silence-mary-blanks-not-silent-anymore-about-transvaginal-mesh-sling

Why am I writing about Mary today? Because this is ONLY one year later and she is now staring at her garden pond that she had not finished, thinking about if there is now a way to finish it. She admits she won’t be digging for awhile or perhaps ever again, but Mary is thinking about her surroundings and her future again. That is an amazing miracle when you know how seriously ill she was at the time I wrote the blog. She now runs her business from home because mesh took so much out of her and she is the matriarch of a family that includes her husband, children and grandchildren. She now thinks about family gatherings and watching her grandchildren grow up. Why is this so surprising?

Well you can read Mary’s story on the last link and get the gist of why. Mary was in such bad shape that living didn’t look like it was possible. Puss oozed from her body. A surgeon had opened her up, took one look and closed her back up again. Result. “Go home and get your affairs in order”. Somehow her will to survive took over. She found my blog and sent me the short note that I wrote about on the first link. Now at this time, when I ask Mary to speak to another lady who lives in fear of having her long term mesh removed, she says “Of course Linda”. She wants women to know that there is life ahead but you have to be brave and face this full on so that you can live again.

Mary’s mesh was in her almost nine years but sometimes infection can happen very quickly. Lisa found me and we spent a few emails going back and forth all because she had been told by an infectious disease doctor to get the sling out quickly because her infection took over at the speed of lightening. Lisa has spoken out many times about what this does to women and she too did her story with Jane. http://meshmedicaldevicenewsdesk.com/patient-profiles/suffering-in-silence-no-more-lisa-pashenee-takes-her-mesh-protest-public Lisa couldn’t wait to get in with Dr. Raz so she went with Dr. Rodriguez and had hers removed much sooner. Although her sling was only in her ten months in all from the time it was put inside her body until it was removed, Dr. Rodriguez told her she had never seen so much puss come out of a woman’s body. Where is Lisa now? Well on the phone trying to help women get over their mesh surgeries and yes, she is doing well.

Women have written to me asking me more or less for a guarantee. A guarantee that they will be able to go back to work and continue life as normal. Or a guarantee that Dr. Raz or the other doctors can remove their mesh and make them whole again. We can’t do that. No one can do that. But if you don’t see about removing it if you are doubled over with pain from infection, or puss is coming out of your body, or you smell something terrible ‘down there’, then you do not have a guarantee that you will live, let alone live a new life.

So stop asking for guarantees and starting working on a guarantee that you will live again. How, I can’t tell you. How long it will take you to get well after surgery, I can’t tell you. If Dr. Raz, Dr. Kim or Dr. Rodriguez can guarantee everything they can do then they would not be human. No one can guarantee anything. But I can guarantee this one thing. I know the truth.

These two women have spoken out and I can say their names and give links about them. Others I can’t because they don’t wish it. They will tell you the same thing. Stop dying and start living. Don’t let infection win your war. Fight back and live again.

If you don’t like the words that women are dying from mesh, then don’t read this blog. I speak the truth as told to me by thousands of women. They would not want it any other way because they want you to live too.


  1. Kathy

    I pray that Dr. Raz and Dr. Rodriquez will at some stage begin to train other doctors so that women that can’t get to UCLA, can be saved. To have insurance and not be able to get ther, to be in such pain and get there and still have to wait months for surgery ( putting us in more risk) is very painful and stressful.
    How can three doctors operate on all of us.
    This is a crisis and I do not know of any other health crisis that the patient is put in this position.
    I have had my mesh in me since 2007. I had little clue why I have been falling apart since then. I feel fear every minute of everyday.
    Dr. Raz … I plead with you to reach out to other Urologist to help us.
    Thank you.

  2. Mary blanks

    Katie cla is the number one teaching hospital in the country! I believe dr. Raz is the head instructor of urogynecology . There were so many drs covering me specialist in every dept. I really wonder what happens when they leave . I’ve heard of women who did contact his students but from what I’ve heard they do things differently with minimal success. Maybe someone else knows. But I know that during my surgery he was teaching and instructing!

    1. lavalinda

      It takes years of specialized training and the person must be dedicated and have excellent skills to be able to remove mesh successfully and not leave women more injured. They have doctors go there for training all the time and Dr. Twiss was one of them who did well. But remember that it won’t be overnight. Most doctors are too arrogant to say they don’t have the skills and spend time learning them. He is up against the same thing we are. Many doctors do not like him because he says “Don’t use mesh any more”. They do not want to change anything.

  3. Mary blanks

    Kathy UCLA is top teaching hospital in country. Dr. Raz is head instructor of that dept

  4. Kathy

    But it is not looking good that I can get there and I want to live. SO AFRAID.

  5. lavalinda

    Kathy, do you have anyone who can help you do a fund raiser? Mayb e beg a church to help you do it even if you don’t go there. You need to find someone who is compassionate. You may be eligable for the flight and hotel. Read this and see what to do. http://teapapers.com/bladdersling/2012/11/mesh-removal-no-money

  6. Bella

    Kathy I am in the same boat. I am having problems getting their and in about a month, our income will be 1000 a less a month due to my husband being furloughed for 22 weeks. We are having to use money we have raised to pay for medical care here so my hope of getting to UCLA is getting farther and farther away I am afraid. I don’t know what to do. I don’t see a future anymore, I even tried to end it all in Feb but was not successful in fact, I barely did anything basically I just locked myself in my bathroom and my hubby came in and started knocking and I came out crying and told him what I was using was not sharp enough and now thanks to that, we have to spend more money on therapy and I have to go or I will be put in a hospital which will cost more money. It is hard to go through this, when you are in constant pain and agony, when your hubby has to help you get dressed, wash your hair, when you can barely leave your house, when you feel trapped, like a prisoner in your own home, a burden and worthless. And when you have discvoered or you feel like more of your friends and family should be helping you, helping you around the house, listening to you, helping with money to get you help, and ye they don’t believe you are that bad off, they don’t believe you coudl die, they think it is a more of a quality of life thing, not your going to die, nevermind what has already happened to you in the past 8 years.

    Everyday, day in and day out, I get up, I am at my computer, I lay around, I cry, I scream, I get mad, I stare into space, I do nothing, NOTHING, then I get on my couch for the night, where I am up until 2, 3, 4 in the morning in pain, just to get up and do it all the same again the day. I feel like a Robot, only I can feel pain. My pain has now gotten to a 15-20, when I take my pain meds it goes down to a 10 but I am drunk and loopy. I am having problems voiding, I have started falling, even with my walker and now I have this new pain and I don’t know what it is. I am scared. I am scared to go to a GYN here and get more bad news, I am scared I will never get all this mesh crap out of me, I have it everywhere. I am not able to fly due to health problems and I don’t know if our vehicle will make the drive to CA if I am ever able to get there, let alone me trying to make the ride. We don’t have a lot of money. We are behind on our house payments and if we can’t make another one this month we go into foreclosure. I have been diagnosed with severe depression and PTSD and something else but I can’t remember at the time (pain meds). Ok well I have whined and complained enough. I just had to get stuff off my chest. Sorry it is so long.

  7. it does not matter

    BELLA, do not apologize for your letter being long. BELIEVE ME i COULD WRITE A BOOK, WHAT I POSTED IS NOT A DROP OF WHAT COULD BE POSTED OF THE CRUELTY i have gone through in Tennessee with doctors and nurses from memphis to nashville , jackson, and dyersburg and more.

    I found 1 most honest and truthful with me, and after that I got a letter from her medical firm saying that they would not see me again, I begged them to at least let me see her, she gave me medication I needed, they refused the clinic and the hospital. HER RECEPTIONIST SAID THAT THE CLINIC MAKES THE DECISION,S NOT THAT DOCTOR.

    want to read my book I could write? women that have suffered through this mesh , right now I have infections suffering , no doctor , no medicine, I DO MY BEST, DAMN THOSE COMPANIES AND THE DOCTORS AND NURSES THAT LIED TO THE WOMEN. AND THOSE THAT COVERED FOR WHAT THEIR COLLEAGUES DID EVIL. NO APOLOGIES FROM ME.

    1. lavalinda

      Hi It does not matter. Life can gett beter if you can make your way out to UCLA. It’s not easy but many women have raised the funds to go. http://teapapers.com/bladdersling/2012/11/mesh-removal-no-money/


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