I AM NOT A MESHIE
I realize this blog may create issues because of what I have to say, but over a long time I have spoken to many very bright and talented women whose lives have been slowed to a halt because of the injuries they have sustained because of bladder sling mesh. Those who do well with their future are the ones who do not join the ‘meshie’ club. It is the way you define yourself that will lead to your recovery and how you will change your life to fit these injuries. To get the help you need to salvage your life, you have to be an individual fighter. If you put yourself in a club, you will be giving away your chance to live a better life. I know how hard it is to stand up and fight your way through this. The depth of despair is often immeasurable and many women find themselves completely alone. Friends and family gone at a time when they need the most help. However, defining themselves in a category will only hamper that fight to return to who you want to be.
Take your life back. First do everything you can to get the right help to remove this product completely. Allow yourself time to recover and accept the fact that things may not go according to plan. We are all injured differently and we all have to adjust to the fact that we won’t be the same even after it is out of our body. Once you are well enough, ask yourself who were you before bladder sling mesh took over in your life? I know the first thing most women will say is wife, mother or both. However in this day and age they are so much more. If you have been through the school of hard knocks throughout your life, then you have learned to become an individual and you are better equipped to handle these complications. However, many women are used to putting themselves last behind partners, children and often co-workers and they have little left to fight to regain their lives.
I know the giant strain this puts on marriages and partnerships. I know because women tell me. I was a widow before this happened to me and I was equipped for that position by a man who always told me to remain an individual as well as his wife. That strong partnership lasted for thirty-four years until he died in 2004. For legal status I had to learn to write the word widow, but I did not feel like a widow. He was still there in my mind because of all we had achieved together. However, I also achieved so much as an individual, courtesy of his blessings. I will always be grateful for that because it gave me strength to find a new life without him and a different kind of happiness. That has indeed stood me in good stead for the fight I faced with this injury.
So instead of putting yourself in a club, start thinking about whom you were before this product injured you and who you want to be when you get well enough to continue with your life. You may have to change careers because you cannot sit or stand for hours on end, but this bad experience could make you a valuable part of a world that does not understand women who are injured by this product. Think outside the box. Could you be a patient advocate because you have this experience? Could you work in the hospice industry because you have learned compassion? Or can you work on a new life where you could use all that creative energy you once set aside for everyone else? If you learn any one thing about this experience, it is that you need to get back on track and enjoy the rest of your life. Find what it is that will make you laugh again.
I will always yell out to the world “I am not a mashie” because I am not. I am so much more and I will continue to grow with the choices I make for my future. This was just a small part of my life and it does not define me. You can turn this difficult time into a blessing. It’s all about how you look at it. I wish you well on this journey……………………