The Giant Mesh Monster

We all grew up listening to stories about monsters and as small children we were sure one was living under our bed, but we never believed we would have to fight and battle a monster as large and ominous as the Mesh Monster. What makes it difficult is when we were told these stories there was always a knight on a horse who battled and sleighed the monster and all ended well. However there is no one to battle this giant monster except the sick women who have little energy to battle anything more than getting out of bed every day. There is no happy fairytale ending to this story.

So how did the mesh monster grow so huge? Money, ignorance and arrogance are three of the main ingredients that have made this monster grow so that it now owns the Kingdom. So large and ominous is this monster that it would take something much larger to fight and sleigh this dragon. The one ingredient that could sleigh this dragon is PUBLIC OUTCRY! However, women do not feel free to speak out about their pain and their silence gives this monster the power to rule us all so affectively.

Even if you are afraid to speak out in public to take your power back, there are things you can do to try to sleigh the dragon that is taking away your life. The first thing you can do is block out ignorance and negativity from those around you. These things seem to go hand in hand and the most effective way to rid yourself of them is to first of all, don’t go to a doctor who babbles off a load of crap to make him/herself feel important. The truth is, a doctor who does this in his office when you see him for your mesh complications, usually does it to hide their lack of experience. OR they will spend so much time with you doing all the talking and will often be the pompous type who lets you know how clever he/she is at removing mesh and one he/she has done so, you will have a miraculous recovery. BEWARE! These doctors often have the gift of the gab and can sway a rock to do as they wish. We all know these people exist and are especially dangerous to women in relationships. What we do now realize is that they are especially dangerous to women who have mesh complications. They are often so good at their line of bull, that they really do believe what they say and can sway your husband just as much as they sway you. Politicians do this every day to get our vote and doctors can do the same. That is why I prefer a doctor who isn’t trying to sway me but truly wants to help me with my medical situation. Because of what has happened to me with mesh complications, I now sit in a room as an outsider and pay attention to the details of a doctor as if I am not the patient. I find my objectivity helps me interview them without being swayed.

A good doctor should be kind and attentive to a point. He/she does not need to spend a long time with you to prove to you how good they are. They should allow you time to go home and think about something before you make a decision and give you an email address so that when you have time to think, you can ask the questions you want to know. Then they should answer those questions without a load of beating around the bush.

A good doctor should not carry his/her ego around like an extra head on his/her shoulder.

A good doctor should not wrap his/her ignorance in a pile of arrogance. They are the type who gets very defensive when you ask a question in person and combat that question with their own sense of importance.

Why am I writing about this today, you may wonder? Well, there are many women who read my blog and know I truly am mesh injured. I am not trying to sell them anything and I am not arrogant with a head full of knowledge that I love to spit out. In other words I don’t do bullshit! I struggled through my own mesh injury alone without any answers from the doctor who put it into me and I began writing here expressing what it was doing to my life. I did not know where to turn, who to trust and I felt so alone. They say from acorns giant oak trees grow. So true; Other women came to me and helped me through all my anguish. They shared their stories. They told me who to trust in doctors and what had happened to them with others. I listened, I learned and I shared with you the best doctors and I used them myself and I thank God every day for these women. They gave me hope and the power to do what was needed to do. In turn I vowed to do the same for every woman who wants to help herself. It works! Women are now taking control of their lives and making informed decisions. What they do with what I write here has nothing to do with me. They are the ones who refuse to bow down to the Mesh Monster and they get up and fight their fears to gain their freedom. They and they alone do the hard work that it takes to get their lives back. I just pass on other’s information and write my own story.

These women ask questions. They make decisions after visiting a doctor in their own local area. Sometimes the questions are aimed at the doctor who put mesh into them. They come away feeling battle worn and they give up for awhile. No you will not get the right answers from doctors who continue putting these slings in women and do not believe there are any complications or injuries. The sensible thing is to walk away from that battle and move on. Those who don’t give up begin to make decisions based on facts. This is what one woman just did and then she made an appointment to go out to UCLA. She felt confident in her choice. She found a new local gynecologist and went to see him so try to battle issues she now has with mesh, until she has mesh removal. She told this doctor that she had made an appointment with Dr. Raz. His answer was very confusing to her and she told me what he said.

I quote from her email. “I’m so confused now. just had my second visit with the newest urogyn that I’ve been seeing. I told him I was going to see Dr. Raz. and he felt that to remove the transobturator sling completely is a very risky procedure and that the safest thing for me to do is just have the majority removed that he can easily reach without going in the transobturator space where there are a lot of nerves and blood vessels. He says he has heard of people getting bad infections in that area when they have removals. He also said Dr. Raz must be 80 yrs old and most likely doesn’t do his own surgeries? He also felt that since Dr. Raz is a urologist and not a urogynecologist he wouldn’t be familiar with women’s issues as much as men’s? He also said that he has not read anything that Dr. Raz has published regarding the safety and effectiveness of his complete removals. so I did send an email to Dr. Raz today asking him to have someone fax me any articles he may have had published.”

Well I had to have a good laugh at this email because I know there are many doctors out there who are offended when women go out to UCLA. They believe they know how to handle the issue and how to remove the amount of mesh needed to ease the pain and suffering of women. If that is the case then why are so many women so ill for years more and undergo surgery after surgery? No there is no guarantee we will get completely better after complete mesh removal. Some of us remain with serious complications because the mesh has been in us for so long and has destroyed our internal organs and nerves and muscles. Leaving part of it in our bodies will not help us for long. I know because women have told me this. I don’t make it up and I would never have flown out to UCLA, spent a lot of money and agonized over that decision had I received a good doctor report here in the State I live. I listened to so many women and based my decision on what they all told me, then I did what I had to do to try to get myself well. That is how I fought my own Monster.

I did answer the lady who sent me the email and pointed out the absurdity of this, but she was also smart and emailed Dr. Raz after her doctor’s appointment. Dr. Raz sent her a paper he published on this subject to give to her doctor and answered her questions. She told me she now felt she had made the right decision. I think every woman who has been out to UCLA and had those surgeons remove their mesh are confident that Dr. Raz or one of the other women did do their surgeries. You would have to meet Dr. Raz to understand why we feel that way. He takes his job very seriously and knows what he is doing. The lady also said she had forgotten to tell me that her doctor had said that the arms fall off and do not need removing. If this was not such an idiotic thing for a doctor to say I would have burst out laughing, but it is shocking and ignorant. I wonder where he thinks they go? I know a woman in Florida who did not get well when one was left inside her and it decided to move. It took a surgeon seven tries to find it and she has the incisions to prove it.

So now you know how large and ominous this Mesh Monster is, but regardless of how large the monster, its brain is often very small. I wish you luck in your daily battle to sleigh your own monster. You can do it. Fight a little each day until you win the battle.

Update.  For new information click here.  http://meshangels.com/2014/04/mesh-will-i-get-complications-in-the-future/

17 Comments

  1. a meshed-up nurse

    That doctor who said that about Dr Raz needs to meet this remarkable surgeon, FEMALE PELVIC RECONSTRUCTION SPECIALIST himself before he goes off spouting his erroneous and malicious opinions! Dr Raz is in his mid 70’s and has much REAL WORLD EXPERIENCE in pelvic reconstruction the OLD FASHIONED WAY before mesh came into widespread use. He does do his own surgeries but also teaches other doctors his techniques. He also has much more energy than most people more than half his age. He has no agenda except to help women try to regain their lives from the mesh MONSTER, the implanted human torture device, worse than any water-boarding, because it’s an ongoing, 24/7 pain to manage and deal with- NO relief EVER (unless medicated and many times, not even then- just takes the edge off) when the product causes complications.
    If the “ends” evaporated like the “good doctor” states, then Dr Raz would not have had to cut my obturator muscle to remove mesh from inside it or off of the obturator fossa/bone almost four YEARS after implantation. And thank God, DR RAZ had the experience and old-fashioned “know-how” to do that or I’d still be walking around with an ice pick in my right inner thigh and I still would not be able to sleep or lie on my right side at all.
    Thank God for the translabial ultrasound that Dr Raz developed that showed that I still had mesh embedded in the wall of my urethra, causing horrific pain and spasms every time I urinated YEARS after I was told “that it came out easily” and that it was “ALL out up to the obturators”. I’d STILL be suffering horribly with this if not for Dr Raz.
    Dr Raz is my and many other lady’s hero!

    Reply
    1. lavalinda

      Thank you meshed-up nurse. And thank God that women like you speak out and have the medical knowledge that is needed to help other women here by using your voice. I will make sure this lady gets your message. She made an appointment for consult with Dr. Raz already and I hope she will leave her own message here after meeting him.

      Reply
    2. Angels123

      I am also a healthcare provider and I am getting pretty astute at sniffing out the horses behinds of doctors who are out there. I went to school with some…those are the ones who don’t know what they speak about and who wouldn’t want to further their education by trying to learn what other doctors like Dr. Raz know that they don’t. I hope the lady whose dr told her that remembers that he is probably one of the many doctors who are guilty of screwing up many women himself. These doctors have egos and if you go to them and tell them to their face that someone else is more skilled than them at anything..their ego will get the better of them. They don’t want you to think anyone else can do what they can do but do it better. Just remember any of you who keep consulting miscellaneous doctors thinking they are going to give you their blessing to head to California and seek out “The Doctor”, they aren’t and they will turn into little children who sit on the playground and fling insults at the doctor who has intimidated their poor fragile egos. That being said I will end it in case this lady needs one more opinion from someone who has had surgery from Dr. Raz…just freaking go! Don’t waste time, resources, your physical energy, emotional energy, or anything else it costs you to seek out other opinions. Just get to California! Dr Raz is the most knowledgeable person I have met about these mesh procedures and has the lifetime of wisdom, knowledge, and experience to rely on when removing such difficult materials such as mesh devices.

      Reply
      1. lavalinda

        There are so many nurses who are not only messed up with mesh but they too have lost so much faith in the Medical Industry. Some have told me that they could not work the way they had before bladder sling surgery, not just because of injury but because they are angry at the way doctors have treated women with this issue.

        Reply
  2. nadine

    In my eyes all doctors are the monsters to me because I have yet to meet even one who is geniune in their doctoring to actually help. The monsters from our fairy tails come from realities, all stories do. The diffrence with stories and what we live is just that, we live these stories and they are not stories but true horror lives in which we must battle our own bodies in order to hope to find help in a doctor whose ego is not that of the size of a dragon or ogre or even a giant. They have not only egos but stupidity in thinking some of us do not know what is going on. So here I will tell a story of friday afternoon this past day though it is a true story and one where finally someone admitted fault to mesh and than changed there mind later.
    I suffering with mesh and dead bladder since insertion among many many other problems these past few months finaly found a Uro0gynocologist who would see me and take my insurance. A tiny women compared to the man with his giant hands who has done my surgeries and exames ever since the day my life was destroyed by something i never saw but knew was there. She examined me and therefore told her assistant numbers of pain as she went. But she told me what I already knew, a dead bladder caused by mesh sling and myalgai of my uterus and vagina pushing the bladder tighter and tighter and each time it swells as a balloon it pushes the muscles back causing further damage to my nerves inside me but yet no one wishes or cares to do a under the skin exam and because she or no one else has felt the mesh protruding through any walls, its assumed its not as bad. Yet the horror of it is…when the bladder fills I do not know and when the muscles squeeze it none comes out and the filling and squeezing destroys Prudential branches and Obtuetory the cannals and branches. By acurs it will and allready be too late for the nerves. This is my horro story and with three surgeries in 5 weeks i have herniatted disks too and my son has been removed from my care. I live a life of suffering inward and out and infections no one can find but i alone know is there. I feel the mesh every time i cathitorize or go poop or do anything and i can not walk or sit or lay too long and things get worse each day. But this story so far has no happy ending except that my mother gives me things and than takes them back as if they never where mine and now my only comfy blanket has been taken as well. I guess i should be greatful for life and my son and mothers kindness of me living here but i am tired of no money and people taking everything from me and having no hope anymore at all and wishing it was easier to die a quick death than this slow one but my son needs me and my only wish is to have him home a while before i see the maker and be able to die happy.

    Reply
  3. DebC

    Just got back from UCLA after having Dr. Raz remove my TOT sling. I especially needed the

    Reply
    1. Angels123

      Hey DebC….sounds like you and I may have had surgery the same day or close to it! And you have a very good description of Dr. Raz…the energizer bunny…! I love it…because it is so true. I hope to be at the top of my game like he is in my seventies!

      Reply
      1. DebC

        Right. We should all be so productive when we are in our 70′ s! =)

        When I had my surgery, it was Dr. Raz who met with me bright & early the day of my surgery, went to the operating room with me, was there in the recovery room shortly after I came to & showed me the mesh he removed (which other docs told me was impossible to remove) & explained how things went. He was also there in the evening checking on me, AND there to do his rounds with myself & his other patients at 5am they next day. You should know that he has many patients, not just mesh complications. Yes, he is/was a busy man. It was one of the nurses that I overheard saying he was like the energizer bunny… and I thought that was pretty accurate.

        And thank goodness he is still going!…because he has women who have been suffering from mesh complications lined up & waiting months to see him because they desperately need help. There’s a reason for that too, & it’s not from him advertising & self promoting (unlike some docs). It’s not even other docs referring the majority of his patients from what I can tell. It’s because, in our desperation & pain & not getting anywhere but worse with other docs, we start researching ourselves & hear about him from other women, like Linda here. And thank goodness there are blogs like this & women speaking up because without Dr. Raz many of us would be without any hope at all.

        If any doc is offended, or questions why we are taking drastic measures to get to Dr. Raz, then maybe they should try researching themselves a little more about mesh complications, & partial removals etc. Maybe they should try living a day in our shoes, feel our pain, & see if they wouldn’t want more help then what they are offering. Maybe they really should try listening & learning, from Dr. Raz & his patients, rather than believing they know better. They do not know nearly as much as they think they do.

        Reply
        1. lavalinda

          Hear, hear DebC. If you hire someone to clean your carpets you ask questions. If they roof your house you ask questions. If an electrician wires your house you ask questions because he/she could burn your house down. And yet doctors are often offended by women’s questions regarding their injury and the doctors skills and services. It never ceases to amze me what standards there are.

          Reply
          1. Angels123

            Amen Deb C.! That was exactly my experience with Dr. Raz! It was so important that he showed the specimen cup full of mesh to me. It is hard to realize what a mental number this mesh situation has done to you until you see that mesh in the cup and you realize the battle is over and now it is time to heal. I truly never thought I d see the day when my struggle would be essentially over….and Dr. Raz deserves every acolade possible and every blessing in heaven for helping me end it. Now I look to a year at least of healing and am anxious to see what improvements I can get back and what medicines I can lose! So congratulations on the beginning of your new life as well!

    2. CLAUDIA SANTANO

      I LIVE IN BUENOS AIRES , ARGENTINA . MEDICINE IS EXCELLENT IN MY COUNTRY BUT I

      Reply
      1. lavalinda

        Claudia, I removed your email address because I do not want a bunch of nuts contacting you. I already sent you the information you need to email all three doctors at UCLA. Be aware that leaving the arms in can lead to more complications, but the wrong doctor can injure you beyond repair if he practises on you. Many do this because they do not have the right training.

        Reply
  4. CLAUDIA SANTANO

    Thank you Linda . God bless

    Reply
  5. Robert

    Linda

    Why don’t you start a thread towards men having problems after having the mesh installed? See what develops..

    Thanks

    Reply
  6. lavalinda

    Robert I agree, so today I was working on a blog about men and slings. It should go up tomorrow. I hope men or their wives/partners will respond. I researched for two hours today and got nothing to help you, so like I did when this happened to me, I wrote and the women came. I hope it will be the same for men.

    Reply
  7. Normans Mom oink

    I had to laugh at the comment about” Dr Raz must be at least 80 yrs.,old and probably doesn’t do his own surgeries anymore”. As a patient of Dr. Raz, I can tell you that that’s absurd. Dr. Raz is like the Energizer Bunny. He is swift, competent, and meticulous. He runs circles around his younger colleagues. He never forgets a patient or their details. He is truly an expert as well as a revered elder. I completely trust him. I overheard one of his young fellows complaining that he has trouble keeping up with Dr. Raz. He said he was exhausted and Dr. Raz is still refreshed and ready to do another surgery or 2.

    Reply
    1. lavalinda

      Normans Mom you are so right. He is an amazing man.

      Reply

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