My Thanksgiving Prayer

I am SO angry.  This morning I heard from a woman I can describe as a lovely friend.  She has been told she will undergo her ninth surgery and she is both angry and upset.  Nine times in ten years.  What is happening in this world?  When will this catastrophe be recognized?   When will the cries of thousands of women be heard?

I began researching to see if I could find something to help her.  Some small grain of hope on a horizon of never ending pain.  What I found was this article written by a doctor in Arkansas and it inflamed me even more.  I thought it would have constructive information and answers, but instead the article stated how good mesh is and that there are only one percent of complications.

How dare this man write this?  How dare he belittle even one percent if he has NEVER had to deal with mesh in his body and suffer the terrible pain.  IF he read my emails every morning and all the comments that are left here on this blog, would he still write this?  Sadly yes he would!  He does not have to help women find a way back to some kind of life or convince them that they are worthy of living.  He does not have to care because he is separated from reality.  Read this and weep.  Weep for the thousands of women around the world whose lives have been destroyed by mesh.

Today I am very thankful for the treatment I have had at UCLA and Dr. Raz.  I know that the right care can give you part of your life back again within a few weeks.  The past two nights I had a revelation.  I slept on the right side of my body for the first time since March 9th 2010, which is the date the implant mesh sling was first put into my body.  Yes I still have nerve issues, but I was astounded when I woke up and found myself laying on my right side.  I am amazed how after 6 weeks post op, I can do something I have not been able to do in two years, eight and a half months.  And I am so thankful I had the best surgeon in the world.

Without the proper care of a good surgeon you are at the mercy of thousands of bad ones and numerous continuing partial removal surgeries that only take you down the hill of despair.  Yes I am very angry for all the women who have not had the same kind of care and for all those who will surely be injured in the future by these products.

Yesterday I spoke to another woman over the phone who told me she had given up and did not have a reason to live any more.  She too has had numerous surgeries and still lives with mesh in her body and more complications from her removal surgeries.  I begged her to try to go out to UCLA.  I told her there is a better life and she does not have to lay, wishing to die.  I don’t know if she will make an appointment but I sent her an introduction to the lady who had mesh in her body for twelve years.  That lady is thankful because she is better.  No not perfect because who can be when this product is hell bent on destroying your body over a twelve year period.  But better.  Today she is enjoying sitting at the dinner table with her family.  Before Dr. Raz removed it, sitting was impossible.

I wish all women could have a chance at a new beginning.  My anger is so great today that I knew that the only way to lessen it was to write a blog.  To write a poem of what this is like for women.  I hope in doing so I can enjoy the rest of today with my daughter.  I am truly thankful……

I took a break with my daughter this afternoon and watched the following movie.  It made me very sad and very angry for what happens to girls in Somalia.  I have been to that country but did not know of this.  This is the link to that movie and please watch it if you can.  What astounded me about this movie is that we accept that this terrible and disgusting thing can happen to girls/women in third world countries and yet here in the USA, women’s genitals are being injured.  Their female organs are injured by an implant product called bladder sling mesh.  How dare they do this to us.  When will the news people take this on and show the world what is really happening to us.  This has to stop!  Desert Flower movie

Women’s Cries

Some days I cannot stop them
The sobbing, women’s cries
I hear them in my head all day
They tell me of the lies
Of trusting in their doctors
Who said that they were told
That complications could arise
Their lies indeed are bold
The sadness never leaves me
They all deserve much more
I struggle every day to find
A crack, then open door
For surely someone listens
And won’t believe these lies
They’ll help me stop this madness
Before another dies

Please someone out there help these women.  Do something to make the awareness happen.  One woman told me this week that our government forced Exxon to pay up when our shores were drowned in oil.  She asked me this question.  “Why don’t they do the same for all the injured women and those who will be injured in the future?  Why aren’t these mesh manufacturers forced to have a fund set up to repair our injured bodies?”  I did not have an answer……..


  1. Lisa Pashenee

    The 10,000 lawsuits are certainly more than 1%! If a doctor had even told me that these were possible complications, even 1%, I would not have done it. Dr. Rice forgot to mention there are women like me, who also can have a FBR (foreign body response) I had 13 infections in 9 months, & was told I could have died. Now I am 90 days healed from my FULL removal pf mesh at UCLA by Dr. Larissa Rodriguez, and gave thanks for her today at Thanksgiving. I thank God everyday for giving me back my health.
    I pray also for the women who still have mesh, that they will find a way to be healed. The doctors are starting to realize there is a problem, & they are alarmed, probably more because of possible legal action, than really caring about the harm they have inflicted in women to save money! Karma, what goes around will come around!

  2. Ruth

    1 % complication rate is a ridiculous, bald-faced lie. This editorial in the European Urology Journal gets closer to the truth. I copy a quote from the article here (link to the whole article at the end): “I would propose that almost two decades after the
    introduction of TVT and midurethral slings into clinical
    practice, and by any modern industrial standards of quality,
    a 30

  3. lavalinda

    Ruth you hit the nail on the head. How can we make anyone listen when doctors like this try to drown us out. However, we will NOT be drowned. We live the agony of this travesty and we will NOT stop yelling from roof tops all over the world. We are saying “Stop telling lies. Start listening to the thousands who suffer every day. We say NO MORE lies. It is time for the truth”.

  4. Barbara

    Thank you and may God continue to bless you for all that you do! I to had mesh surgery in 2006. I have an appt with Dr Raz in March thanks to you. I live in Texas (Tyler) and i have almost talked myself out of the appt due to cost of travel etc but after reading your blog yet again I’ve decided i “can’t afford not to go”. I have to get rid of this pain! After picking up my post op report this past week i am even more upset to learn that my dr implanted an expired mesh. The mesh expired 2 months before my surgery. Why was this still on the shelf! I’m not sure what to do with this information. I am scared of surgery because i have a clotting disorder so you can imagine the many questions i have going on in my head. I have a wonderful internal medicine dr that cares for me here with the clotting disorder as well and other issues. I pray Dr Raz can help me with this issue and do the removal surgery for me. I’m sure i will be a challenge for him. Blessings, Barb

    1. lavalinda

      Hi Barbara. Dr. Raz will take the greatest of care of you and he has tackled so many cases that seemed impossible and those women are still alive. No you can’t afford not to go because you cannot live very long with mesh injuries especially when you have an medical issue like you do. The best way is to report it to the FDA first. Now you have your information it is important that you be counted. I will send you an email with other things. I am happy you have a good doctor for when you return home. I know the financial difficulties, but we have to overcome them and decide we are worth it. This tells you how to report your product to the FDA.

  5. Sally Fisher

    I am just sick. I live in Muskogee, oklahoma. I need a mesh removal, it has damaged my rectum and vaginal wall. Can any one give me a name of a reputable Mesh removal doctor close to me.

    1. lavalinda

      Read the reply I left for Jessie. You will find a link to tell you where I went and my journey.


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