Mesh & the Voices of Women

This morning I dropped another link to my blog into the Katie Couric show page on facebook.  I had to do something.  Yesterday I listened to the voice of another woman over the phone.  She sent me her story and although I cannot use any names, I can share with you the gist of her suffering.

This lovely lady has not only been suffering for almost five years without the real help she needs, but she shared that her pain was often so bad, she put a pillow over her face to stop her screams.  Now her screams are my screams.  Her pain is mine.  I know have to keep trying to change things for all women who need help now, but also to stop the flow of new injured women.

The last blog covered the physiological damage done to many women.  Their doctors never believe them.  When they scream loud enough they are given addictive and dangerous medications to shut them up.  She is one of them.  When their addiction becomes apparent, the meds are often pulled from them without recourse.  This lady shared with me that she too had succumbed to these meds.  It scared and worried her.  Why?  Because she has a son with Down’s Syndrome who has now been diagnosed with dementia.  She needs her wits about her and therefore she checked herself into a facility to get off the meds.  Then the pain came back with a vengeance.  Then back to the same pain meds and addiction all over again.  Finally she found a pain management doctor who is treating her with Methadone.  It is both helping her with the pain and her addiction while she seeks help to be mesh free.

One huge problem looms.  She cannot travel to California.  It is not just money because she lives on a fixed income, but she has to find somewhere for her son to stay.  She shared with me that her husband takes care of them both, night and day.  She is sixty nine and I am sure he is also older.  This is a great responsibility for families without the added pain of mesh.  She told me as her son continues on his down spiraling journey, it is taking a toll on her wonderful husband.  Thank God for another man who loves his wife and his son.

As we talked, I shared my own experience with my husband’s dementia.  Years when I did not understand what it was.  The pain and anguish of losing the brilliant man I loved, one day at a time.  But there was good news for her.  I understood the system of the Hospice.  With his diagnosis there is help for her and her husband.  They need a break.  They need to get him comfortable with others while she has surgery.  My own experience helped guide her where to go, who to ask and accept the help offered.  I learned too late for me.  But perhaps this is why I was given that painful lesson.

It still doesn’t solve getting her to a doctor I know will truly help this woman and relieve some of her pain and anguish.  I keep hoping for a miracle and I will never give up.  This morning, her voice and her anguish kept repeating in my head and I had to write this.

The voices of women go round in my head
Those of the living and those of the dead
I hear them at night time, they call out to me
How can I ignore them until they are free
They’re sick and they’re injured and nobody cares
These women are suffering from medical wares
At times I can’t take it, they drive me insane
But then I come back and I help them again
I can’t do a lot but I give them my best
I’ll never give up ’til the day that I rest

 Linda Kilpatrick

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