Mesh & Someone to Talk to
Over time I have talked on the phone to hundreds of women with severe mesh complications. There are many others I don’t talk to because my wonderful helpers do so for me. Then there are the women who like me have support at home in a loving family member or partner and have those people in their lives to go over how to get the help they need. For me it is my grown daughter and I do not know what I would do without her support. However, many women have none. Family members do not believe their pain because doctors outright tell them that what they feel does not exist. This is because mesh manufacturers tell doctors that what is happening to us is rare and has no merit. Yes, that is an outrage in itself. So who can you turn to if you have no one to listen to you and you cannot go on any longer enduring the constant terrible pain? Who can you talk to when you lay in bed for hours in pain?
To let the other people know how bad the pain is for women I can only tell you what they have told me in their own words. “Worse than the cancer I had and all the year long treatment I endured”. “Far worse than any of the childbirths I had”. “So bad I lay there wishing to die” “I was wishing I had cancer so that my family will believe this is real and not my imagination”. Then this story from a young woman with five children. “I got every pain pill I was taking and everything else I could find in the house and a few bottles of water. I could barely drive because of pain and I drove to a place away from my house and parked where I would be found. I sat there and decided one more time I would call a suicide prevention line. I was lucky. One woman who answered listened to me and told me there was hope. A doctor in California is helping women like you. His name is Dr Raz at UCLA.” When this young woman confessed this to me over the phone recently it was because I had not heard from her in awhile. I decided to check up on her and see how she was doing after mesh removal. Even now, this young woman does not have support at home, but she told me she is alive and has her children. So remember. Even in your darkest hours there is always someone who will miss you even if you don’t think they will. There is other people who will listen to you when I am not available and I am going to provide you the links here.
I truly wish I could be on the phone non-stop to every woman out there who is going through this hell. But I cannot. Neither can the women who help me. What you have to understand is that we too are like you. We are living in our own private mesh hell. We are also human. We hear the word mesh daily. We listen to the pain while we endure our own and we internalize what we hear. So please understand we are not turning our backs on you if we no longer can listen to you. We are trying to survive our own pain and still help new women daily. You do not have to be suicidal to call these hotlines. If you need help and someone to listen to you, give one of them a call. I write this blog not because I want to get rid of you and don’t want to hear from you. I write because I too have to get well. I cannot take your pain daily while I deal with my own. You also have to understand that all the stories I hear about mesh complications build up and sometimes I have to walk away for awhile.
From early October, I will be leaving this blog for you read but I will not be available. I will have mesh removal by Dr Raz at UCLA. Removal surgery means it could be weeks or even months before I am available again. If you think you can help other women with mesh complications around you, please reach out. Many are completely alone.
If you can go to Dr Raz at UCLA, I wrote a blog on June 30th 2012. Please read it for the information you will need.
If you need someone to talk to in Canada or the U.S.
Because so many contact me from the English speaking world, here you can find help in the U.K.