No Holiday with Mesh

It’s two a.m. Christmas Eve morning and I can’t sleep.  I can’t get comfortable for pain in my leg.  For most people, Christmas Eve is full of last minute shopping.  I haven’t done any this year.  I didn’t do any last year either.  Not only can’t I not afford to spend money on gifts for other people when I may need what I have to put towards my future hospital care, but I can’t go shopping anyway.  My daughter has taken me a couple of times it is true.  It gets me out of the house.  Gives me something new to look at, but there it ends.  I spend part of the time hanging onto a basket to push around the store until I can’t do it any more, then I retreat to whatever sitting area is available and wait for her.  Or I just sit outside in the car while she goes in.  It is easier than hoisting my painful body in and out of the car.

She took me to the movies a few days ago to celebrate her birthday.  I so wanted to be with her and didn’t dampen the day by complaining how bad my leg was hurting.  I hoisted my painful leg in and out of the car, walked in pain to my seat in the theatre, then had hell getting out of it when the movie was over.  I shouldn’t complain.  I am one of the lucky ones who can at least function part of the time.  Many women can’t function at all.  They live on pain killers full time and stay in bed all of the time.  That’s what bladder sling surgery can do to you.

I wonder about all the executives who run these mesh implant companies.  I wonder about their joyous celebrations with their families.  Their skiing trips or whatever other sport of choice they enjoy throughout the holidays.  They don’t give a second thought to the people who are suffering every day from a product that puts food on their tables.  That buys their houses and other fine things.  They don’t give a second thought, because it isn’t them living like this.

I would say that once I turn sixty-five next summer, I will be able to get the mesh removed from my body and I will be whole again.  Not so!  Mesh removal is only the start of it.  Then there has to be reconstruction surgery to fix the damage caused by removing it from our organs, muscles, nerves and tissues.   A friend is just recovering from her second surgery fixing the damage.  Putting her organs back where they below.  It takes weeks of doing nothing to recover from such a traumatic surgery.  That’s what bladder sling surgery can do to you.

Then there are all the other women who contact me.  One has had five surgeries since having a sling put in her body earlier this year.  We all wonder “Will we ever get our lives back again”.  That’s what bladder sling surgery can do to you.

So no.  Normal and fun holidays with this product in our bodies is no more.  That’s what bladder sling surgery can do to you.  Now once again I will try to sleep.


  1. Kathleen

    What a thoughtful perfect explanation of a truly heartbreaking truth. Complications from mesh begins a journey you never wanted to take. You join a club you never wanted to join. I am so truly thankful for you that you have this blog and women can reach eachother through it We all are learning so much and need to be able to still communicate and help each other. Suffering from mesh during the holidays is particularly emotional. I am really praying that good things happen in 2012 to stop the madness and the women get the help they truly need.

    1. lavalinda

      Thank you Kathleen. I do know that right now you are revovering from your second surgery after the sling was put in you and are in pain over this holiday. Your first was removal six months ago and the one you just had was reconstruction. This is why I write my blogs. We didn’t ask for this. We trusted those who administer everything to do with the medical industry and we are left to struggle through continuous pain and surgeries on our own, except for other women who have joined hands to help each other. It has to stop!


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