Today I used my Walker

I sit here right now wondering how could this have happened to me?  I woke up this morning with terrible leg pain that became worse as my right foot touched the floor and I tried to stand up.  I struggled to the bathroom where I had left a spare walking stick.  As I cleaned my teeth it was stop and start to try to shift my left so that the pain in my right would subside.  It didn’t happen.

Somehow I made it through to the living room and let my little dog Beaux out of his bedroom.  My daughter had built him a neat little room out of an old baby crib, so that he is safe at night in his own space.  As I let him out, he was a happy little dog who wanted his breakfast.  I held on to my walking stick and made my way to the kitchen to fix his food and make myself a cup of tea.  As soon as I was done, I headed for the couch.  In excruciating pain, I managed to hoist my leg up on to the couch and exhausted I lay there waiting for the pain to subside.  Three hours later I got myself up and checked my messages on my computer.  A new story from another lady who has suffered for seven years, with many attempts to remove the mesh from her body.  I cried.

I have a walker which I have never used because I know if I don’t use it, (my muscles) I will lose it.  My muscles will diminished and I will be permanently in a wheelchair.  So, I admitted to myself that today was a day for a walker.  I hope tomorrow I will have a good day and won’t need it.

If you are out there wondering whether to have bladder sling surgery, then recognize that I am not the only sufferer.  There are many.  If you had a choice would you live like me?

If you want to see how I was before surgery and how I am now, read this blog and view my video.


  1. D J Bailey

    I had this horrible implant placed in me by my family OB/GYN and all he talked about was what a better life it would be after the surgery, well that better life has turned into a nightmare, I had the surgery on 05/28/2010 and i had NO IDEA of the pain and torment my body would still be going through over a year later!!!!! I was so upset to find out that the
    FDA sent warning letter to Doctor’s and the implant companies WARNING OF THE COMPLATIONS FROM THIS DEVICE, and still in yet my Dr NEVER even gave me any kind of side effects or informed me of the FDA Warning and I do blame myself for not researching this surgery before i allowed it to be done, however I had total faith in my Doctor and now i am paying the price because like many of you out there i am/was a healthy 41 year old woman with a great job and a wonderful husband and now because of all the medical visits i had to leave and go on and being in constant pain, I lost my job that i loved so much, and now i am afraid i will end up losing my husband because he is getting tired of seeing his wife lying on the couch 24/7 and once upon a time he was married to a woman who loved life and traveling and would not ever miss a day of work, we had a very nice life, and now still umemployed after 1 1/2 years, and unable to even have sex because of the pain and even when i try to push the pain out of my head to show my husband some attition he can just tell that i am in so much pain that he just gives up and now turns his back to me, so i know its coming i just don’t know when, and there are NO Doctors in my town who feel that removing the mesh would be any better than just leaving it alone!!!!!!!!!! So i beg any women who have been told by that there doctor to have this procedure, PLEASE DON’T BECAUSE IT WILL ROB YOU OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AS YOU KNEW IT.

    1. lavalinda

      Thank you for telling everyone your story. In a couple of weeks the FDA will have a group of people talk about mesh and yet I hold out no hope that anything will change. Without you and me and all the other women (and men and women from hernia mesh) speaking out, we do not stand a chance of helping those who were not informed. Please do not beat yourself up about not researching this surgery. I only had mine done two months before you had yours and I did research and there was nothing out there at that time. That is why I started this blog and your words will speak volumes to others. Unfortunately we put our trust in the wrong people, our doctors. They do not deserve our trust because they are on the side of making money for their groups and their hospitals. You are very young, only one year younger than my own daughter and I am terribly sad for you. You should be living the life you worked hard for, not in pain and bedridden. I will send you a private note to offer you my support and that of other women in our postition. We are sincere. We really do care.


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *